A LEADING medical expert has revealed that women who enjoy giving a bit of mouth love are more likely to contract mouth and throat cancer – and surprise, surprise, it was a woman.
Dr Maura Gillinson said her tests proved that women who give blowjobs were eight times more likely to develop the disease than those who didn’t.
Until now, experts thought booze and fags were the main causes of cancer. Just tell the missus to cut-down on the bifters, after all, what’s worse, cancer, or a life alone?
Dr Gillinson said: “Previous studies have shown that, after age, the main causes of throat cancer are smoking or chewing tobacco or betel nut, and drinking too much.”
Have they done any studies on the health risks giving oral sex to girls? Get to work boffins, we need a comeback, fast.
A Teenager has been shot three times by burglers who wanted his Xbox 360, the crime has shocked the nation - everyone knows the Playstation 3 is much better than the Xbox.
Robbers burst into his home in South London and demanded he hand over his Xbox 360 but somehow, as the boy went to fetch the machine, he was shot at point blank range.
He is recovering in hospital now and is thought to have asked for a new Playstation 3 and a security guard to keep him occupied during his recovery.
One of the robbers, a 17-year-old boy, was stabbed in the struggle and is also recovering in hospital where he is likely thinking up a cunning plan to steal the gunshot victim’s next console from under his nose.
A police spokesman said: “It’s fortunate the young man who was shot didn’t die.”
A source added: “You’re talking about somebody being robbed and shot in their home for a games console. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect in America, not here. The violence used was extreme.”
A SENIOR male lecturer at Sandhurst, who taught Princes William and Harry, has had his old-boy lopped-off and now wishes to be addressed as Lynette.
Officer Cadets returned to the elite military academy for a new term yesterday, only to find pipe-smoking Dr Aryeh Nusbacher, who has appeared on BBC2 war game show Time Commanders and History Channel documentaries, is now dressed as a woman and calling herself Lynette.
Dr Nusbacher, 40 only had his meat-and-two-veg removed in the past few weeks.
Cadets have been ordered to treat her with full respect and address her as Ma’am Sandhurst’s Commandant, Major General Peter Pearson, has warned that any jokes or snide remarks by pupils or staff will be severely punished.
A friend of Lynette’s said: “She’s a very brave girl.
“A stiff upper lip military environment such as Sandhurst is about the hardest place to come out.”
THINKING about chucking it all in and heading home to Blighty? Well, maybe you’d like to know that over 20,000 thugs convicted of violent crimes were given “community” sentences in the UK in 2005.
And, even more worryingly, the figure for 2006 and this year could be even higher.
So, as people are fined and even imprisoned for serious crimes such as smoking in public places and forgetting to pay parking fines, those guilty of minor offences like stabbings and physical assault are still walking the streets.v Shadow Home Secretary David Davis took the opportunity to stick the knife into Tony Blair.
He said: “Despite Tony Blair’s tough rhetoric, serious crimes are being punished by glorified parking tickets.” He forgot to mention that the Tory policy is to bomb council estates and sterilise anyone earning less then 100 grand a year.
Blair finally steps down on the June 27th, leaving his bosom-bud Gordon Brown to finally drink from the poisoned chalice of power he has thirsted after for so long.
A MAN who was given six months to live quit his job, blew his life-savings, gave money to all of his family, ate at posh restaurants every night and gave away all his clothes except for what he planned to be buried in, is now suing doctors - because he will live.
Grandad John Brandrick, 62, was horrified to discover his days were numbered and either spent or gave away his every worldly possession and, rather than just being happy that he will live, he is suing the docs who bungled his diagnosis.
Medics had diagnosed pancreatic cancer after finding a 7cm tumour. But a year later his symptoms started to disappear and the Royal Cornwall Hospital said he had non-fatal pancreatitis.
John, of Newquay, Cornwall, said: “I was told I only had six months to live. I gave everything away. I just kept a suit, shirt and tie to be buried in. It is a relief to know your life is saved but if your pot’s empty you can’t enjoy the quality of life.”
LABOUR, the supposed party of the working class, not happy with denying free education to all, now appear to be hell-bent on taking away free NHS services.
Thatcher would have been proud of this latest harebrained scheme of Blair’s. Operations for trivial illnesses such as infertility, migraines and multiple sclerosis, will no longer be automatically granted under new plans.
The British Medical Association are pressuring the government to scale down the amount of operations they view as of little benefit. It’s easy to decide what is of little benefit when it’s not your health in question.
Health minister Andy Burnham said: “I would resist any call to make the NHS a slimmed-down emergency service,” which probably means the decision has already been taken to OK the new plans.
BRAINY boffins are finally putting their eggheads to good use, they have devised a “cap” that gives you all the mental and physical benefits of a full nights’ deep slumber – in just three hours.
Imagine being out half the night partying, slipping on your sleep cap and waking up for work the next day daisy fresh. Everyone’s a winner, you and your boss.
Think of all the extra leisure time you would have in you only needed three hours’ sleep a night.
The power nap treatment quickly puts people into a deep slumber by sending magnetic impulses into the skull to slow brain waves to their lowest level.
The deep sleep treatment can improve people’s moods and ability to learn - and boost memory by allowing connections between brain cells to relax.
TWO OF the most despicable celebrities in the UK, fat tourette’s sufferer Gordon Ramsay and sabre-toothed whining lesbo, Janet Street Porter, have outraged the UK’s animal lovers by encouraging Brits to eat horsemeat as a low-fat alternative to beef.
Horsemeat is very popular in France, but then so are riots, port blockades, poor hygiene, hairy females, arrogance and a predilection for surrender and we don’t want to adopt any of them into our culture.
Street-Porter and Ramsay cheekily dished out barbecued nag burgers to punters - at a racecourse.
The stunt is part of a show investigating alternatives to beef after the BSE scares. Horsemeat has half the fat of beef, more iron and contains brain-boosting Omega-3. They’ll be serving them at McDonald’s in no time. But those zany party-animals at the International League for the Protection of Horses blasted: “It’s irresponsible to promote eating horse meat while failing to inform viewers about the appalling abuses of animals in the industry.”
A HAVE-A-GO-HERO and World War Two veteran foiled a shotgun-wielding robber - by hitting him with a Lettuce.
George Smith, 82, was shopping when a raider walked into the village store in Speldhurst, Kent, and pointed the gun at postmistress Pat Carter.
The man demanded money but Mr Smith belted him in the face with an iceberg lettuce.
The soft-centred crook then fled after a second crack to the head from a lettuce. What will his mates say? Mr Smith, of Speldhurst, Kent said: “The best form of defence is attack - so I did. I clobbered him twice.”
Mrs Carter, 52, said: “I was shocked to see someone with a gun - and by how George stopped him. Nobody knows how they are going to react - but George took the wind out of his sails.”
Tightfisted storeowners then forced heroic George to pay for the lettuces he spoiled (maybe).
ALMOST four million Brits’ diet is so bad they actually suffer from malnutrition, figures have revealed.
Kind hearted souls in Sudan and Botswana are now sponsoring children in Newcastle and Glasgow, after a series of heart-wrenching TV adverts revealed that a diet of pies and chips actually isn’t enough to give you all the necessary daily nutrients.
Cases of malnutrition in the UK have rocketed since 2002 and hospitals have seen a 44 per cent rise in malnutrition in five years at a cost to the NHS of £7.3 billion a year - double the cost of obesity.
Nutrition expert Dr Colin Waine said: “The best diet we had was during the First World War. We had a good rationing system and people had the right nutrients in the right amounts.” Yes, that’s what Britain needs - a good bloody war to sort out this fat, lazy over-privileged, Ipod and Playstation generation.
Those were the days, just ask your grandfather, blitzkrieg destroying our cities and people dying by the million and not a bit of blubber in sight.
BONO finally displayed an ounce of humility by claiming that he was “an amateur” when it came to the developing world, but then ruined it by continuing to be his usual pompous self.
The singer, taking a moment’s break from saving the world and lecturing us poor mortals on the sacrifices we have to make to save the planet, was honouring sexual violence campaigner Gege Katana Bukuru in a ceremony in Dublin.
Ms Bukuru from Congo has been arrested several times in her home country, was banned from travelling for seven years, and regularly receives death threats but she has never sung on a charity record.
He also praised Ireland’s efforts in helping Africa. He said: “I am particularly proud of the country of Ireland. Ireland has some particular gift of dealing with Africa.” Adding, pompously: “We get it. They get us.” He didn’t add that Ireland may be able to do even more to help if Bono and his fellow band-mates hadn’t have moved all their assets to tax havens in Amsterdam in June 2006.
BERTIE AHERN may make for a very rich Taoiseach after it was revealed that he placed a €1,000 bet at the start of the year on himself being re-elected in the forthcoming General Election.
The wily-old-fox placed the bet when his ratings were at a low after revelations about him signing blank cheques for Charles Haughey to fritter away – placing a bet on yourself is probably not the best way to reduce criticism of financial misdemeanours. But since then, odds on him retaining his role have gone down, falling from evens to 10-11 ensuring he looks as though he is in for a tidy profit.v This fits in with the late (not so great) Charles Haughey’s analysis of him: “The best, the most skillful, the most devious and the most cunning of them all,” pots and kettles everywhere will be accusing one another of being not entirely shiny.
IRELAND’S first ever rally campaigning for the legalisation of cannabis took place in Dublin attracting a crowd of more than 100 people.
The march was scheduled for 2pm, presumably to give the radicalised youth, or pot-heads as they are also called, enough time to get up in the morning.
The event ended with a performance from Herbal Jahz, which amazingly turned out to be a 12-piece reggae band – who would have thought it?
Rally organiser Tim Reilly said that thousands of euros were being spent every year on alcohol rehabilitation programmes yet alcohol was not only legal but encouraged.
Shares in Ginsters went up by ten per cent for the weekend after petrol stations throughout Dublin recorded their best weekend takings to date.
SCANDINAVIA: A tight-arsed Swedish men’s magazine editor has been ordered to pay model Clara Holmström 150,000 kroner in compensation after he used images of her three times without her permission and described her as a bimbo. Why would you ever call a buxom six foot plus glamour model with peroxide blonde hair a bimbo?
Editor Bingo Rimér of the Moore magazine paid Holmström a measely 3,000 kroner and promised her that her images would only be published once by the magazine and any further use in future publications would have to be paid for again.
“It feels fantastic to win a case against a big magazine and be able to show them that they can’t treat us models however they like,” said Clara as she posed for photos outside court.
CANADA: A MP has been forced into an embarrassing apology after his PA decided he’d have a go at being an MP for the day and responded to constituents’ emails without the MP’s permission.
Assistant Mark King impersonated his boss, Tory MP Gord Brown, in an email response to a constituent regarding the alleged abuse of Afghan detainees.
In the email, King wrote that every case involving the alleged mistreatment of Afghan detainees had been investigated and found to be untrue.
Vigorously trying to distance himself from the comments, Gord Brown said: “Those are not my views. They don’t reflect my view. That staff member has been reprimanded for sending that out.”
USA: A fastfood chain has dumped hundreds of hamburgers from its restaurants after a customer cut her mouth on a piece of metal that was embedded in her meal.
Reports that the rotund woman had actually just bitten off a piece of her fingernail in an orgy of burger-loving bliss are so far unconfirmed.
The burger had came from Cargill Meat Solutions of Wichita, which is the chain of restaurant’s biggest supplier.
A spokesman for the company said: “We are taking this very seriously,” as she struggled to keep a straight face.
BRAD PITT is set to become the Master of the Universe if he plays the part of He-Man in the new movie.
Presumably by the power of Grayskull, Pitt will be asked to bulk up in order to look like He-Man and most importantly defeat the evil powers of Skeletor.
Forty-three-year-old Pitt is rumoured to be very interested in the role. However, if he turns it down it is believed 300 actor, Glasgow-born, Gerard Butler, will step in.
The movie would likely be a huge hit with hordes of late twentysomething men hitting the cinemas to relive their childhoods.
The cartoon series of He-Man was one of the most successful of all time and was originally made into a film in 1987 which starred Swedish actor Dolph Lundgren as the superhero.
LAW-ABIDING rapper Snoop Dogg has once again shown his high moral standards by hitting out at people who brand his scantily clad dancers as prostitutes.
Giving away the fact that he regularly tries to get into his dancers he said that if he makes a move on them they usually decline his advances.
“Who’s to say that these women in videos are hos? They are classy women, and if you really try to mack to them, they’ll tell you, ‘Well, I have a man’ or ‘I’m not into that’ or ‘I don’t do that’.
“Not every girl in the videos has sex with the rappers or lays out her body and does whatever the rapper says,” he added, with a hint of sadness.
Snoop, sounding like a geeky careers officer, continued: “Some girls are into it because they are following their dreams. TV is a long way for a lot of these girls from the country or small parts of the world.”
TRASHY Danielle Lloyd, who seems to always be the sloppy seconds for footballers, was left battered and bruised after getting into a catfight with two footballers’ girlfriends in a nightclub.
The cheap tart, who recently split up with Charlton’s Marcus Bent, gashed her leg as she was pushed off a table by another, we’re sure, equally classy blonde.
Witnesses said the scrap broke out after Lloyd tried it on with Bent’s team-mate Jerome Thomas and Liverpool’s Jermaine Pennant – she seems to have a thing for crap, overpaid footballers.
“Danielle rolled up, very drunk. Danielle was all over both the players. She kept pushing and bumping this girl.
“The blonde pushed Danielle off the table and she cut her leg quite badly,” said a witiness.
They all seem like such lovely refined ladies, don’t they?
LARD-ARSE comic Peter Kay has been voted as woman’s dream date ahead of that Brad Pitt guy.
It turns out that women aren’t interested in a toned body or boyish good looks and really only need a tubby guy who likes a few pints and can tell a few mother-in-law jokes to get them all horned up.
Of 500 women polled, 55 per cent of them said a sense of humour was most important and that Peter Kay was their favourite funny man.
The poll doesn’t say, however, if the women were middle aged and from Bolton.
The most interesting statistic to come from the poll, though, is that only 18 per cent of women sited intelligence as a factor is choosing a partner. Result.
FOXY little harlot Eva Longoria says she is torturing her fiancé by enoforcing a sex-ban until they get married in July.
Can you imagine how frustrating the bittersweet scenario of being with a girl like Eva and not getting to blast her must be?
Longoria, who is getting married to NBA player Tony Parker, said she has imposed the nookie-ban so that Parker can concentrate on his sports performance and help his team into the play-offs.
Eva might not think the idea was so great when she comes home to find her husband being pleasured in a number of ways by a bevvy of busty blondes.
Eva said: “We’re getting married after the play-offs and then we need to consummate the marriage. I scheduled it that way.” Are we expected to believe she hasn’t given the goods a road-test before committing for life?
POP F**K-UP George Michael pleaded guilty to driving while unfit through drugs this week after he was found slouched over his steering wheel stoned out of his head.
Pompous git Michael spoke directly to the judge at court. He said: “I did something very stupid and I am very ashamed since doing it.
“I’m not used to defending myself in a position where I am ashamed of something.”
Getting caught with another bloke in a grotty public toilet is obviously not something to be ashamed of.
Blaming his actions on a tough week, racking up two-and-a-half-hours in the studio, he added: “It was fairly predictable considering how much work I had done that week.”
What a poor guy. Maybe us normal people who slack off doing 40-plus-hours-a-week on building sites and in offices should stop to think about those poor celebrities now and then. He will be sentenced on May 30th and is looking forward to the communal showers.
BLONDE skank Paris Hilton can look forward to being someone’s bitch for the next month-and-a-half after she was sentenced to 45-days in jail.
The little tart, who obviously thought she was above the law, was sentenced after violating her probation for drink driving. Even after being warned that she faced a jail term, the idiot heir-head turned up ten-minutes late for the case, which would have royally pissed off the judge.
Paris’ mother showed where her daughter gets her sparkling intellect from by laughing loudly in the court when the prosecution pushed for a custodial sentence and even asked Judge Michael Sauer for his autograph.
She quickly changed her tune though when the sentence was passed and shouted: “You’re pathetic,” at prosecutors.”
OCCASIONAL recreational drugs user Pete Doherty has shocked the public back home after being caught, once again, with drugs on him.
Old Pete was pulled over by crafty police in his Jag in central London and was allegedly found with crack cocaine and cannabis. Only last month, he was commended by a naïve judge who said he was “doing well,” in his drug rehabilitation.
It is now likely that the seemingly teflon Pete will be enjoying as many drugs as he wants in jail.
To be honest, he’s had a pretty good innings considering he’s been arrested over a dozen times without seeing the inside of a prison cell for any length of time.
Possession of class A drugs, theft of a car, assaulting a BBC reporter (although that’s understandable) and generally being a tit would be enough to see your average Joe sent down for a long stretch but Pete seems to be untouchable. Who says celebrities get special treatment?
CONSTANTLY angry Scotsman Gordon Ramsay was so cold during a recent trip to Norway that his nuts froze. The guy is never happy – wasn’t he moaning that the heat of the kitchen had made him infertile before?
He was in the Scandinavian country diving for crabs when his bollocks froze up.
“I was in Norway recently diving for giant king crabs for the show. It was minus 25 degrees. We came back and I was freezing my nuts off - I swear to God there were ice cubes in my ball bag.
“I won’t be opening a restaurant in Norway - it took three days for my balls to defrost.”
Gordon is currently organising his next opportunity to bully people in a show where he will search for the next Fanny Craddock.
He has been vocal in trying to get women back into the kitchen which has angered many feminists, it doesn’t take much does it? Telling women to get into the kitchen is probably not the best way to get Fanny.
LINDSAY LOHAN’S criminal father is working as, wait for it, a religious minister helping young people quit drugs and alcohol – maybe he should look a little closer to home to give his advice.
Supporting the theory that religion in America is a complete farce, Michael Lohan became a minister in prison after being jailed for “aggravated unlicensed driving,” and attempted assault.
“I took a correspondence course while I was away and am now credentialed to be a minister. I’m not licensed or what you call officially ordained, but I am certified,” said Lohan which actually means: ‘I’ve decided to call myself a minister even though I have absolutely no qualifications.’
He continued: “Will I stay where I am right now, or am I going to go further into ministry or what, I can’t quite say. It depends on where things are going. But I want to give back. I want to rescue young people.”
SCRAWNY actress Keira Knightley says she is absolutley filthy - she freely admits that she smells like a sewer because she doesn’t shower enough.
The Pirates of the Caribbean star said: “I don’t shower enough. My natural smell is rather musky,” as she sniffed her armpits.
Keira, obviously keen to make herself out to be one the common people rather than a mollycoddled toff, said: “Glasses get thrown. It’s good to smash things up. The problem is you spend the next morning on your hands and knees collecting pieces of glass.”
Just what every bloke looks for in a woman – bad personal hygiene and a screwball with a drink in them.
OLDY-but-goody Caprice has offered to donate some of her knickers to Britney Spears to help her cover up her shaven, yet hideously unattractive, muff.
Considering Caprice shot to fame in 1996 after appearing at the National TV Awards wearing just enough to cover her own badger, it’s a bit rich.
She said: “Each to their own, but I wouldn’t do that. There’s too much lovely underwear out there!
I’m going to send Britney some of my knickers with a note saying ‘Sweetheart, Cover. Up. Please’.”
PINT-SIZED celebrity tart Lindsay Lohan has been caught in yet another drugs scandal after a video of her apparently snorting some of Columbia’s finest was leaked onto the internet.
A “friend” ran to the papers with the story after a big night out with Lohan in Hollywood.
She said: “That night I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine. She was still up doing drugs at 11am.
“She has told me she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco.” No wonder she’s on coke – she needs the energy from somewhere.
EVANESCENCE drummer Rocky Gray has said that singer Amy Lee has gagged him from saying anything about his reasons for leaving the band, making him sound like a complete pussy.
The drummer is the third member to leave the band in three years which makes one suspect Amy Lee is a bit of a bitch.
Writing on his blog, Gray stirred the shit up by saying: “Amy Lee’s management emailed me last night to tell me that, in their view, the contract I signed to record, perform and tour with the group says I’m not allowed to have any free speech in regard to Evanescence.”
AFTER a succesful gig at the American Coachella Festival, the Happy Mondays’ revival seems to go from strength to strength, with the news they will play in a Brighton fish and chip shop.
Balloon-like frontman Shaun Ryder will relish the chance to stuff his face as he performs.
He said: “I love Brighton. Like us, it’s sleazy and mucky and cool and funky.”
The gig will kick off a UK tour for the Madchester band.
WEIRD Nordic singer Bjork must have realised it’s been a while since she’s spouted a load of complete shit to the press - now she says that music is not art but actually a science.
She compared music to algebra and revealed that she sees directions in her head when she sings.
If anyone else had said this, it would have been met with puzzled looks and concerns for the person’s mental wellbeing but everyone knows Bjork is a case well beyond treatment.
She said: “Music for me is like fact. Totally like algebra.
“Say for example, the corner, where the roads meet. One building is so tall and then this road goes at that angle, then this building is shaped like that, and it sort of directs the characters.
“And so when you hear that in a song it either opens up or it goes really narrow. Do you know what I mean?”
Of course we do, Bjork. What you said makes perfect sense.
MUSIC fans will have been boosted by the news that Blur are to reform this summer despite being on the verge of murdering each other before they split up in 2003.
Alex James says the band will go into the studio this summer but if the reunion doesn’t work they will go their separate ways once and for all.
One sticking point on the legendary Britpop band’s revival maybe in finding a studio large enough to accommodate the colossal egos of Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon.
“We’re all heading into the studio together this summer - Graham’s coming too,” said bassist James as he busked at a London underground station. “We’re gonna see if we’ve still got it. If not, I think we’ll just call it a day.”
RAPPER Eve could face six-months in jail after being caught drink driving although this was seen to be a little unfair seeing as Snoop Dogg was caught with a reasonable sized arsenal and half-a-ton of class A drugs in his car and avoided jail.
She was arrested in April after crashing her car on Hollywood Boulevard while she was pissed and with no insurance.
She is to appear in court on May 17th with instructions to bring her toothbrush and pyjamas – she’s either going down or she is going down as part of ‘an arrangement’ with the judge.
LEGENDARY folk singer Bob Dylan has been scaring his grandson’s mates by singing them his songs. They now call him the “weird man.”
A source said: “The kids have been coming home and telling their parents about the weird man who keeps coming to class to sing scary songs on his guitar.
“He’s been visiting the school just for fun, but the kids don’t appreciate they are in the presence of a musical legend. “They just think of him as the weird guitar guy.”
Kids these days, they know nothing.
RADIO 1 have banned a song from the station after it was revealed to be a clever advertising campaign for a hair product – they’ve never been ones to give commericial music an airing.
The track Style, Attract, Play by Shocka featuring Honeyshot is actually an advert for Shockwaves hair styling products and was created by advertising firm Saatchi and Saatchi.
This clever marketing strategy will surely be used again by companies. Perhaps you’ll have The Proclaimers singing a song advertising Irn Bru or Robbie Williams promoting the Priory Clinic.
A Radio 1 spokesman said: “The track was presented to Radio 1 in the usual way, via a legitimate promotions company and we were not aware that it was a promotional tool for a hair product.
”As this is created by an advertising agency with the sole purpose of selling this product, and we do not play adverts, it is not something we would play again,” as he signed a contract for Radio 1 to give an official endorsement to a brand of pile cream.
THE ABSOLUTELY awful 1990s Des’ree hit Life has, quite rightly, been voted as having the worst lyrics of any song ever.
The immortal line: “I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s the site that I fear most. I’d rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news,” was voted for by BBC 6 listeners as the worst lyrics of any song.
Other notable entries were Razorlight’s Somewhere Else in at number three with the cleverly written: “I met a girl, she asked me my name. I told her what it was,” and U2’s Elevation which Bono must have spent literally minutes working on to come up with: “I’ve got no self control/Been living like a mole now/Going down, excavation/High and high in the sky/You make me feel like I can fly/So high/Elevation.”
Bob Dylan must be absolutely quaking in his boots.
THE IDIOT manager of The Clash Bernie Rhodes caused a mass walk-out and was very lucky to avoid getting his head kicked in after he told the audience: “If you want to sort out crime in London, sort out the n***ers in Peckham.”
His outburst is all the more shocking given the West Indian influence on The Clash’s music and their anti-racism lyrics.
Racist Rhodes was speaking at Clash Culture, which had been organised for pretentious young knob-ends to show off their bohemian fashion and worldly opinions at Central St. Martins Art College.
The bitter old man had obviously got out of the wrong side of the bed that day because he earlier described The Future Is Unwritten - Julien Temple’s new biopic of The Clash’s frontman Joe Strummer - as “crap.”
He said it was, “a film made by a public school boy about another public school boy.”
He added: “They’ve turned Joe into a hippie because they want another John Lennon.”
ROCK legend and all-round nutter Iggy Pop has revealed how Kurt Cobain called him to invite him to do a collaboration but Iggy had been sleeping at the time.
When Iggy tried to return his calls, he never managed to speak to Kurt – presumably because Kurt was lying in the corner, smacked out of his tits.
Showing that he’s really just your regular, boring old man, Iggy said: “He called me up once at two in the morning. But this was when I was old enough to start going to bed at 9.30. When I’m not gigging I’m sensible so I didn’t take his call.
“It was cool because it was a great musician at this peak and he’s going ‘Iggy this is Kurt Cobain, let’s get in the studio man.’ So he leaves me a number for the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills.”
Iggy said that every time he tried to call back he would be told that “Mr Cobain is under the bed,” or “We haven’t heard from Mr Cobain in three days,” which unfortuately meant the world missed out on what would have been a great rock collaboration.
more
Recent Comments