A vicious bitch schoolgirl who decided it’d be a great idea to stab a fellow pupil in the eye with a pair of scissors was last week slapped with a three-and-a-half years sentence. The 15-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was apparently doing her best to fit in with a group of girls who had been bullying Natashia Jackman when she started taunting the girl in the school dinner queue, Guildford Crown Court heard. When Natashia retaliated, the girl, who was 14 at the time of the attack, responded by lunging at her with a pair of scissors snatched from another classmate. Her victim narrowly escaped losing her eye in the attack at Collingwood College in Surrey in November last year. The girl was found guilty following a month-long trial at Guildford Crown Court of wounding with intent and sentenced to youth custody. The twisted girls who had befriended her, were also found guilty of perverting the course of justice after they hid the scissors following the attack. They were both sentenced at an earlier hearing to a 12 months community order.
A deadbeat arrested in connection with a £53million robbery from Tonbridge Securitas has now gone missing, police have somewhat sheepishly admitted. Sean Lupton, (right) 46, left his home in Hillside Road, Whitstable, Kent, on Tuesday, December 12. Detective Inspector Tony Hubbard said Mr Lupton’s family and friends had not heard from him for more than a week. Shrugging his shoulders as he pictured Mr Lupton being oiled up on a Brazilian beach, Det Hubbard said: “This is out of character and we would appeal for anyone who knows where he is or has seen his white van to contact us as soon as possible.” He is due to answer police bail in February and Kent Police have launched a missing persons appeal.
Demonstrating that we are indeed moving into a brave new era of advanced technology, the Queen’s sintalating Christmas speech will be available as a podcast for the first time this year. A download of her December 25 message can be ordered free in advance on the British Monarchy’s website, www.royal.gov.uk Subscribers will automatically receive the podcast on Christmas Day at 3pm, when the Queen’s address is aired across the Commonwealth. This year, the Queen has focused on the relationship between different generations.
Layabouts who can’t be arsed to go out and get a job are in danger of having all of their benefits frozen in a massive crackdown on the long-term unemployed. Ministers are to launch an attack on “can work, won’t work” attitudes among Britain’s jobless. Work and Pensions Secretary John Hutton reckons that a ‘hardcore’ of benefit claimants are failing to compete for jobs with growing numbers of eastern European immigrants. According to government figures, around 950,000 people were claiming Jobseekers’ Allowance last month. Nearly 100,000 of those are thought to have spent six of the past seven years on benefits watching This Morning and Countdown.
As if British troops in Iraq weren’t depressed enough about being away from their loved ones for Christmas, they have now had to put up with Tony Blair turning up full of smiles and handshakes for a few photo-opportunities. Speaking in Basra, he said: “We are very, very proud of you. I would like to say thank you to you all. It’s very hard and very dangerous work that you do. Sometimes you probably don’t maybe realise how much people back home appreciate you.” Blair also went to meet Iraqi President Jalal Talabani who helped swell his ego by telling him that Britain and the US had helped free 37 million Iraqis from “the worst kind of dictatorship.”
A piss-head who caused travel chaos after passing out wasted on a railway line has been fined £560 and given 180 hours community service. The boozy bloke was heard snoring as he lay sprawled across the tracks with his feet just 12 inches from the live rail, forcing staff to switch off the power to the line. The man’s vodka-fuelled nap caused delays for thousands of people near Epsom. PC Keith Board, of British Transport police, said: “I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years of policing. It was truly remarkable that he wasn’t struck by a train or fatally electrocuted. In total, four railway lines were impacted, costing almost £8,000 in delays. Trains had to stop running and the power was turned off so that police and emergency crews could safely get to him.”
People who live a healthy lifestyle might as well take up drinking, smoking and eating cake for breakfast if a new deadly strain of superbug MRSA continues to spread. The highly contagious strand of the virus targets the healthy and young, and has been responsible for the deaths of two people this year. The bug can kill in just 24 hours by destroying the white blood cells in people, in spite of their good physical shape, whereas the more usual hospital-acquired type of MRSA tends to affect the elderly and those weakened by illness or operations.
The Bishop of Southwark, who lost his belongings and suffered head injuries after a Christmas party, has denied claims he was drunk, saying it would have been “entirely out of character.” In an interview with Radio 4, Rev Tom Butler admitted that he couldn’t remember his journey home from a party at the Irish Embassy in London earlier this month, but tried to put it down to amnesia. While brushing the remnants of a kebab from his robes, and taking a couple of Nurofen, he said: “It’s very worrying, I still have amnesia. I’ve had extensive medical tests and they are going on. I remember nothing from the early time of the party until I got home.”
Once again proving how utterly out of touch the Government is with the people it serves, Margaret Beckett has admitted they realised before the Iraq war that its 45-minute claim about Saddam Hussein’s weapons may have been wrong, but didn’t think it was a big deal. When Beckett was challenged by TV presenter John Humphrys on why the claim – which was at the heart of their argument for going to war - had not been corrected in public, the Foreign Secretary said: “Oh, come on, nobody thought it was relevant. Nobody thought it was a big sweeping statement.” Shadow foreign secretary William Hague bitched: “If it is true that the 45-minute claim had been discounted before the invasion, it is appalling that there seems to have been no co-ordination between the ministers to put the record straight.”
In a seemingly ‘maximum tolerance’ act of policing, Greater Manchester are sending Christmas cards to criminals in the hope of persuading them not to offend. “We hope that receiving a Christmas card from the police may discourage some offenders from committing crime this Christmas,” said Neighbourhood Policing Inspector John Haywood hopefully, while some chancer outside stole his car. “It is the season for giving, not taking, and some people need reminding of this as they consider trying to ruin somebody else’s Christmas.”
A pensioner who had been saving money for a rainy day still claimed government handouts despite having a whopping £469,000 stashed away. James Price, 76, lied about his savings to claim £3,129 in council tax benefit, a court has heard. Magistrates were told he lived “frugally” within the limits of his state pension with partner of 40 years. The former painter and decorator admitted pulling a swervy one by conning Darwen Borough Council into thinking that he was a pauper that only had £2,000 in savings. He has now reluctantly paid back their cash, and was fined £4,500 with £500 costs.
Obviously having paid attention when being told about the evils of contraception, a15-year-old girl gave birth at her Catholic school after arriving for lessons “in some distress”. The unnamed Year 11 pupil, who is studying for her GCSEs at St Joseph’s Catholic College in Bradford, went into labour at the start of the school day. John Grady, spokesman for the Catholic Diocese of Leeds, said: “It is something that will be talked about for some time but we are just happy that the girl is OK, the baby is OK, and hopefully they will be home this weekend and spend Christmas at home.” Amazingly, he added: “It is not going to help to go moralising on the whole situation. “That is not important. What is important is that the child and the baby are fine and everything is being done for them and their parents.”
Three soldiers, obviously pissed off at being in Iraq in the first place, have tried to make a few quid by smuggling guns out of the country and flogging them to other soldiers. However, their half-baked scheme has got them thrown out of the army and slung in jail. A court martial heard how the keen businessmen from the Yorkshire Regiment bought cheap pistols on the Iraqi black market and smuggled them back in Army vehicles to Germany. Once back at base the guns were then sold to their soldier mates. When prosecuting, Colonel Nigel Jones said: “The motive for undertaking this business arrangement was simple - money.”
Psychotic hammer murderer Michael Stone must spend the next 25 years at the very least being very vigilant about not dropping the soap before he will even be considered for parole, a judge ruled last week. Mr Justice Royce, sitting at the High Court in London, reckoned the appropriate term in the twice convicted killer’s case would be a “whole life” order. But he said 25 years was the maximum term he could impose for Stone, who bludgeoned to death mum and daughter Lin and Megan Russell in 1996. He said: “It is of particular importance in this case that the public understands that the setting of the minimum term does not mean that the defendant will be released once that term is served. Nut job Stone, now 46, was originally found guilty in 1998 of killing Dr Russell, 45, and Megan, six, and the attempted murder of Megan’s sister, Josie, in Chillenden, near Canterbury, Kent.
The compensation culture in Britain has spread to its prisons, with payouts to criminals soaring to a ridiculous £8.8million in the past year, thirteen times higher than the compensation paid out just two years ago. Claims were for injuries, assault by a fellow prisoner, trips and falls. Prisoners in Wakefield prison are set to get £200 after DVD players were taken away after they were used to watch porn. Matthew Elliott, of the Taxpayers’ Alliance fumed: “The compensation culture is being taken advantage of.”
Despite winning millions on the Lotto, ultra-chav Michael Carroll has never thought to fork out a few quid for a private tutor to teach him to read and write. At least that is the excuse he is giving magistrates. Carroll is claiming that his illiteracy made him miss a probation appointment and arrive late in court for a hearing after he was alleged to have threatened someone on a train. The sentence has been adjourned.
Healthy eaters have ensured that Ireland has run out of organic turkeys and geese well before Christmas, meaning those who have left it too late to get hold of one might be feasting on beans on toast for Christmas dinner this year. This year there will be about 2,250 organic turkeys and 400 organic geese slaughtered in time for Christmas. “All producers stated that they are unable to meet the demand from customers,” a Department of Agriculture spokesperson said, while wringing a bird’s neck. Michael Peters, a producer of organic geese said: “I think when people try the organic food, they see the difference in flavour and come back for it again.”
Unsurprisingly, the ban on smoking in public places has improved health, a recent study has announced. Professor Luke Clancy, of Trinity College Dublin, reckons that his investigations showed clear evidence that the ban has cleaned up the air in pubs and restaurants and improved the health of the people who work in them. “Prior to the smoking ban being introduced, we knew intuitively that it would bring health benefits, but now two years after the ban, we have proof,” he said, while punching a smoker in the face. “We found a decrease in shortness of breath, coughs and watery eyes. Lung function in the non-smokers also improved.”
Cork city councillors have decided to give themselves a hefty pay rise, while the city’s social welfare pensioners look like they are going to be charged to have their bins emptied. In order to pay for the councillors’ pay hike, up to 5,000 households across the city could be hit with a new €3 bin tag charge every time their rubbish bin is collected by the city council next year. Figures released by City Hall earlier this year showed that Cork’s Lord Mayor is paid more than the Polish prime minister.
Humbugs at the Revenue Commission are confiscating Christmas presents sent through the post until the recipients pay VAT charges and postal handling fees, and are returning them to the sender if people don’t cough up the dosh. Revenue has collected hundreds of thousands of euros from people buying cheaper CDs and DVDs on the internet by forcing them to pay customs duty and value added tax, plus a €5 post office fee. “Portlaoise parcel-post office has collected €1.375 million in duty and VAT on parcels this year to date,” a Revenue spokesman said smugly.
Salad dodger Ricky Gervais reckons he’s been inundated with offers to play parts in Hollywood films, but because of his ultra high standards he’s told them to get stuffed. Presumably not ready to sell out yet while his career is going strong, the comedian apparently refused parts in Ocean’s Twelve and Pirates Of The Caribbean because they were rubbish. “It’s better to do good TV than a bad film. OK, it’s a film, but so what? It’s rubbish. It’s on the side of the buses for a week and then straight to DVD. I’ve probably been offered about 80 films. Half of the films I’ve immediately said no to, they’re British. The half that are left are rubbish.” So what half does Gervai’s new family film Night At The Museum fall into?
In one of the most bizarre celebrity get-togethers since Harrison Ford was seen at a strip club with Marilynn Manson - media whore Sharon Osbourne and the Dutchess of York shared a boozy lunch date at a posh restaurant in London. What’s more, it seems they got up to all sorts of mischief while they were there, posing as bathroom attendants while getting shit-faced on expensive booze. Fergie, who hasn’t done anything this outrageous since returning her library books back a day late gushed: “We had dinner in this really smart London restaurant. After a few drinks we thought it would be quite fun to go down to the ladies and pretend to be loo attendants. It’s very naughty but God it was funny.” I’m sure the bathroom attendants were pissing themselves at having their job mocked by rich, pissed -up hags.
Ticking all the criteria required for an appearance on Trisha, is the ongoing saga between up-the-duff Mel B and Eddie Murphey, about who the father of her unborn baby is. The surprising couple split last month after Murphey thought she was playing away from home, and this has now been confirmed with photos surfacing of Mel frolicking with another bloke while she was with Beverly Hills Cop star. The ex-Spice Girl, who obviously couldn’t keep her legs closed, will need a DNA test to prove who the father of her child is.
No doubt making for some great piss taking down their local boozer with the boys, is news that Matt Damon is filming love scenes with Angelina Jolie, one of his best mate’s birds. However, instead of making the most of jumping on Brad’s bit of stuff, wet Damon has said that he finds it difficult getting intimate with Jolie: “Doing a love scene with the girlfriend of a good friend is weird. We all know each other.” Meanwhile hard bitch Angelina, nonchalantly said: “The difference between kissing Matt and kissing Brad is simple. One’s a friend and one’s my lover.”
Pure class lass, Jade Goody, is worried that as well as being about as feminine and attractive as a scrotum, she’ll end up poorer than your average vagrant. But instead of making an attempt to save the dollar, the silly cow has just been moaning that she and her boyfriend are useless at saving money. Or some might say, just pure useless. “The worst thing is he hasn’t got any sense with money. He’s very generous and when he has money he’ll pay for things left, right and centre,” said the chubby chav. “And that’s not good because in a relationship you need one who spends and one who saves. But I spend and he spends. We’re going to be bankrupt!”
Not doing herself any favours to deflect criticism for being a complete trollup - frequent fanny flasher, Britney Spears, has now been forcing innocent revelers to have an eye full of her tits. The slapper rocked up to Los Angeles nightclub Element - wearing a see-through white lace top and no bra - before stumbling out of the club hours later shit faced and covered in drink stains. Presumably while Britney was out on the lash her poor kids were back at home, running around the house playing with knives and plastic carrier bags.
In what is expected to be the biggest turkey since All Saints made their movie debuts, Victoria Beckham has landed her first Hollywood role. She is set to play an alien bride in Tom Cruise’s forthcoming project The Thetan which – surprise, surprise - is a film about Scientology. A source said: “Victoria is really hoping to make a go of it in Hollywood. This could be the perfect start for her, with good pal Tom Cruise in charge.” Not sensing that the film might be a giant flop, Cruise has decided to make the film with his own money after all the Hollywood studios rejected the project with a chuckle.
Hygiene-free actress Liz Hurley has been accused of leaving the toilet at Elton John’s wedding without washing her hands. The former missus of prozzer-fan Hugh Grant was spotted leaving the bog without rinsing her mitts by OC star Samaire Armstrong. She said: “It was an amazing party. I sat beside Prince Andrew and Fergie. Sharon, Jack, Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne were there and so were Sting and Liz Hurley - who didn’t wash her hands when she left the toilet.”
Those worried that there weren’t going to be enough loose women to go around on New Year’s Eve will be encouraged by the news that Paris Hilton is coming to town. Having released a debut album that’s already found its way onto the shelves of Help the Aged stores, Hilton will be coming to town hoping to put her woeful music career behind her and do what she does best; try and take the limelight of real stars and get pissed on free booze. It is believed that Hilton will be making an appearance at Home nightclub’s Pacha party before taking her and her rake thin body to a soiree held by bearded multi-squillionaire Richard Branson.
Weirdly, Liberal Democrat MP, Lembit Opik, has dumped his weathergirl fiancé Sian Lloyd in favour of one of the Cheeky Girls. Lloyd has described 41-year-old Opik’s relationship to the talented Gabriela, 24, as “a pantomime.” While taking her engagement ring down the pawn shop, she said: “They’ve been together for two months and I called off our engagement a couple of weeks ago, so you do the maths.” In a statement that will instil great confidence in the people running our country, she added: “Lembit is a real barfly and there’s a massive drinking culture in the House of Commons.” Lembit has also been accused of pulling strings to keep the skinny vampires from being sent back to Transylvania.
Trying to use fake ID to get into a club probably isn’t the smartest idea when you are one of the most famous 17-year-old socialites in England. However, that didn’t stop party girl Peaches Geldof trying her luck with a doctored copy of her passport at London’s Koko club. An eagle-eyed bouncer spotted she had scanned her real passport and used computer trickery to change her age from 17 to 19, and told her to sling her hook. A Home Office spokesman said: “Using false identity documents is a serious offence. You can be imprisoned up to ten years.”
High-waistlined king of smug, Simon sCowell, has signed a £20million golden handcuffs deal with ITV, which is the biggest pay cheque in British TV history. The sharp-tongued star had considered axing X Factor, but, sadly, the lure of cash has urged him to change his decision. “After two and half years of the X Factor, I’d pondered whether we were going to carry on. But this series has just been so fantastic,” he dubiously claimed. “I think there is even more we can do with the X Factor. I couldn’t be happier. ITV gave me my first big break in TV five years ago for which I will be eternally grateful,” he said, while wiping his arse with a £50 quid note.
Further enhancing her reputation as a truly classy lady, Pamela Anderson reckons that she was in such a good mood this summer she would have married anybody who asked her. “It was a big mistake,” she said of her whirlwind marriage to Kid Rock. “But I was in St. Tropez, I would have married the fisherman on the corner. I think I just got swept up and I wanted to have a family for my kids, but you remember really quickly when you get back together why you’re not together.” Anderson also confirmed rumours that Kid Rock got the hump with her for having the sense of humour to appear in the recent Borat movie.
Beanpole actress Cameron Diaz is the latest star to hit out at “size zero” celebs, and has called on Hollywood stars to be more responsible role models for their young fans. The effortlessly attractive girlfriend of Justin Timberlake says she has always wanted to be voluptuous, but, in spite of shoving hamburgers down her neck with utter abandon, has remained naturally thin. “I think it’s terrifying, it’s tragic and sad. I think that it’s a sickness, something that’s going on in someone’s head where their perspective is off,” she said of her waif-like contemporaries. “We get ideals from images that we see and there certainly should be more responsibility put on those people who are putting those images out into the world. I’m a skinny girl, so all my life all I have ever wanted to be is curvaceous and voluptuous, have everything falling out everywhere.”
Food hater Nicole Richie has been told that she will go to jail if she is convicted of driving under the influence. Because she has a previous DUI charge, she is guaranteed at least five consecutive days in county slammer if found guilty. She will also have her driving license suspended for one year and be ordered to attend an alcohol education programme for a year-and-a-half, where she can hang out with Lindsay Lohan. The brain-free celeb was nicked last week for driving the wrong way along a California freeway while wasted.
White trash pop bint Britney Spears has been advised to stop hanging around with Paris Hilton if she ever wants to rebuild her music career. The singer befriended the hotel heiress after filing for divorce from worthless husband Kevin Federline last month, but has not been seen partying with Paris for almost two weeks now. A source said: “Britney has been told by her people that if she ever wants a comeback, she has to stay far away from Paris and start acting like an adult.” Presumably they have also told her to pull a pair of pants on from time to time.
I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here winner Matt Willis has no doubt pleased the parents of his many teenage fans by showing a very responsible attitude towards alcohol. The excellent role model, who ate a kangaroo’s anus on the show, has spent a chunk of time in rehab in the past, but it doesn’t seem to have taught him any lessons. “I still go out and get hammered. It’s hard to stay clean and sober when you’re 23,” he said, while skulling a quadruple vodka.
Egg-shaped funny man Matt Lucas has married his long-term boyfriend. In a quiet and reserved panto-themed affair in London, the Little Britain joker got hitched to TV producer Kevin McGee in a lush showbiz bash. At the reception, Lucas was dressed as Aladdin while his new hubby came as Adam Ant. To ensure that the campness levels were suitably high, Pet Shop Boy Neil Tennant and TV’s Paul O’Grady were there, both dressed as Captain Hook, while Cockney grandma Barbara Windsor came done up as a fairy godmother.
Money doesn’t make you happy. Well, not if you’re Robbie Williams anyway. While having £90million in the bank might make most of us feel pretty cheerful to wake up in the morning, the depressed singer says he feels like an “open wound”. He also admits to having a “mental problem” that makes him incessantly surf the web for his own bad press. Clearly full of the joys of Christmas, Williams also added: “What’s the point of having kids? I can’t guarantee I won’t father a child that won’t be in pain because that kid’s going to be in pain at some point in their life. I don’t want to see that. It would be too much for me to cope with.”
Talented Northern youths Arctic Monkeys have been nominated for two Grammy Awards. The spotty oiks are up for Best Alternative Music album and Best Rock Instrumental Performance. The announcement follows news that they will play a massive gig at Lancashire County Cricket Ground, Manchester, next summer. The show will support the release of their second album, released in the Spring, and will feature a host of their favourite bands, who will all be announced soon
After all the fuss and excitement, it turns out that an acetate of the legendary debut album from the Velvet Underground, allegedly sold on eBay for a staggering $155,401, is actually still worth only the 75 cents its owner paid for it. The copy of The Velvet Underground & Nico was originally purchased at a Montreal flea market, and is thought to be one of only two in existence. The eBay auction ended with the news that a winning bid of a ridiculous $155,401 had been made, and unsurprisingly accepted by jubilant owner Warren Hill. However, the auction winner has since claimed that a friend made the astonishing bid on his behalf as a joke. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. “I can barely afford gas for my car.”
The annual karaokefest otherwise known as X Factor has been won by a female for the first time. Winner Leona Lewis looks set to go straight into the charts at number one this week, as download copies of her debut track A Moment Like This hit the 200,000 mark within 24 hours of her winning the entertainment-free show. The former nobody was delighted at getting her 15 minutes of fame and glory, and said: “I’m just shocked. It’s unbelievable. I feel like my dream has come true, the dream I’ve been dreaming since a little girl has come true.” The 21 year old from London beat rival Ray Quinn in the final.
In an act of madness not quite of Jimi Hendrix or Shaun Ryder standards, flakily flamboyant pop star Robbie Williams has been fined for flouting an Australian smoking ban on stage. However, in an act that proves that all pop stars are over-pampered beyond belief, a leading politician will foot the bill. Williams was performing in Brisbane when he decided to light up a cigarette on stage, despite laws banning smoking in the stadium. Despite Williams being a multi-millionaire, Queensland Premier Peter Beattie will cover the £60 fine. Beattie said: “I’ll be paying the fines myself. He is a guest of Queensland and he came here and I think he entertained a lot of Queenslanders and put a lot of money into the Queensland economy.”
In a bid to kick-start her ailing career, Dannii Minogue has performed onstage with her infinitely more famous and talented sister Kylie for the first time in 20 years, to perform her hit single Kids. It was the first time they have performed together for 20 years. “When we were kids we’d dance around our bedroom singing into hairbrushes, so I guess we’ve had a lot of rehearsal leading up to this. Kylie says in about twenty years we’ll get an act together and work the Butlins holiday camp circuit,” she joked nervously while desperately clinging on to her sister’s coat-tails.
It seemed like there was more chance of The Beatles reforming with all of the original members, but a new Guns ‘N’ Roses album is finally going to see the light of day. In a posting on the Guns ‘N’ Roses website, screaming madman Axl Rose has named March 6th as the new release date for Chinese Democracy. “We would like to assure the fans that everything in our power will be done to meet this date. Once it is finalized and official, you will be notified,” he said. Meanwhile, Roses’s former manager dubiously claimed: “I believe Chinese Democracy is one of the best albums ever made.” We’ll see.
Oh-so cheeky Kaiser Chief frontman Ricky Wilson has slammed Girls Aloud for covering their overplayed single I Predict A Riot. Wilson doesn’t have a problem with the trollops covering the tune in their live shows, but he is fuming at the fact that they’ve altered his lyrics. The original tune says “girls run around with no clothes on to borrow a pound for a condom”, but has been changed to the much more rubbish “girls run around with no clothes on to borrow a pound for a phone call.” Wilson said: “I don’t give a shit if they don’t change the words. But they did change the words, I’m gonna cover a Girls Aloud song and change all their words but make them really filthy.”
While he may look like the kind of cherub-faced toff that would have had his head flushed down the toilet at school, it seems that Tom Chaplin from Keane is quite the popular fellow in celebrity circles. He has already befriended Snoop Dogg at the MTV European Music Awards, and now Christine Aguilera is apparently a fan, after the singer covered her hit single Dirrty. A source told The Sun: “She is a massive fan of Dirrtylicious, his mashup version of her song Dirrty.”
Strutting rock octogenarian Mick Jagger is fed up with his Rolling Stones bandmates, because they make him do all the work on tour, according to fellow old-timer Pete Townshend. Jagger reckons he is left to co-ordinate the pocket-lining world tour, while pals Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood just continue living their graceless rock ‘n’ roll dream by getting wasted. Townsend said: “I asked Mick how it was going and he said, ‘Well, I’m still doing f****** everything.’ Ronnie and Keith’s big decision is whether to get drunk.”
Fearing that his musical ability isn’t strong enough to keep him in the limelight, rapper The Game (right) has decided to go back to taking a pop at his peers in the hope of remaining vaguely relevant. This time, former friend Dr. Dre, who produced his album, is on the receiving end of his criticism. The Game had previously said he’d “take a bullet” for him on one of his songs, but has since said: “I was drunk on that song so I don’t remember or care what I was talking about.”
Excitingly, living legends Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, Mickey Hart of The Grateful Dead and Paul Stanley of Kiss are going to be opening a school to train aspiring rock stars at Rock ‘N’ Roll Fantasy Camp in Hollywood next year. For five days next February, these and other celebrity musicians will instruct participants for 12 hours each day, share meals with them and offer tips and jamming techniques. The coolest band camp ever will then culminate in a Battle of the Bands competition. Scott Ian of Anthrax and Poison’s Bret Michaels will add a certain metal element to the proceedings, instructing participants from all walks of life how to wield a whammy bar and hit those glass-breaking high notes.
It seems that the amazing resurgence of Take That isn’t going to slow down any time soon. Last week the former has-beens stayed at number one in the singles and album charts, and they have now announced that they are set to spread their wings and take on the world in a massive tour which will call in on Europe, the Far East and Australia. Chubby frontman Gary Barlow said: “We are just discussing dates at the moment but we want to do a big tour of Europe and all the places where we were big first time around. “I just love being on tour, it doesn’t feel like work to me. We’ve been having such a good time this year performing and promoting the album that we all feel we’d like to do another tour.”
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