In a bid to crack down on football hooliganism in Germany, authorities have released a league table of instant fines to give to World Cup thugs. The fines range from £50 for dropping litter to £8,000 for streaking and running on the pitch. Most of the smaller fines will be issued on the spot to give offenders the chance to pay immediately. Critics are calling it : “revolving door” justice and are worried that many of England’s 100,000 fans heading to Germany may be wrongly convicted. The krauts are also taking any Nazi inspired comments or symbols very seriously and will issue Hitler saluting fans with a £425 fines in a bid to stop neo-Nazis hijacking the tournament. Knowing how best to hit footie fans where it hurts, Fifa president Sepp Blatter has warned that for serious offences punishment could be directed at national teams themselves.
A messed up husband who thought his wife was going to divorce him stabbed her to death and jumped off a cliff. Aptly named Dennis Wimpory killed his 57-year-old wife with a carving knife then drove to Beachy Head in East Sussex, leaving her blood soaked body in their Berkshire home. He drove to the notorious suicide spot near Eastbourne where cops found the body the next day. The couple had been married 34 years. A family friend said: “Dennis had been depressed about things at work and not all was well at home. “I understand Jean told him that she wanted a divorce and he must have flipped. Beachy Head was their favourite place and they used to go there a lot.”
Bomb disposal teams were called to a chip factory in Yorkshire after a hand grenade was found in a spud. Just 24 hours earlier, an employee in the same McCain factory in Scarborough had found a tip of a WWI shell before putting a potato into the slicer. The potatoes came from fields in northern France and Belgium where relics from both World Wars are found all the time. A red-faced company spokesman said: “It is something that we will be looking into with our suppliers. It is obviously not an efficient use of our staff’s time if we have to keep evacuating the premises.”
A terrified burglar abandoned his break-in after coming face to face with a 10ft snake. Proud owner of the boa constrictor Mike Saunders was about to go to bed when he heard a scream coming from his garden shed. The shed is home to his snake Hiss and pet tarantula Legs. The 55-year-old said that the Hiss was probably angry at being disturbed and would have gone for the would-be thief. He said: “I saw a bloke in a hoodie run out of the garden through the gate and out on to the street at top speed.” After the ordeal the poor snake had to be comforted by Saunders’ 10-year-old daughter. “She gave him a cuddle,” Mike said.
Suggesting that there is a whiff of corruption amongst top officials, there were reports last week that immigration minister Tony McNulty has been sacked over a sex-for-visas scandal. Even though a pointless internal investigation concluded that there was no scandal earlier this year, an 18-year-old Zimbabwean asylum seeker just revealed that she was offered a visa by a senior official in exchange for sex. An employee was suspended from the immigration office following the revelation. McNulty reacted calmly with absolute professionalism saying: “The shit’s hit the fan.” He’d only had the job for a year and the Home Office have claimed that he has left because it didn’t suit his “personal skills”. They have now moved him to a new job where he will be in charge of the (never corruptible) police.
Furious England supporting cabbies have been banned from flying flags or putting Three Lions stickers in their cars. Miserable council chiefs in Cheltenham reckon that the football supporting paraphernalia could cause an accident – as they apparently could obstruct the drivers’ views. Any football fanatic flouting the order will lose their licence. Cabbie Dave Williams said: “It’s complete lunacy. We should be able to support our national side.”
The Portsmouth FC emblem has saved the life of a British man in Yemen. Football fanatic Tony Restall was ambushed in his car and threatened with execution by Arab fundamentalists – until they spotted the football club’s sticker. Thinking that the moon and star symbols meant he was a practicing Muslim, the terrorists allowed him to live. Facing death or a hostage situation Portsmouth supporter Restall decided it was best to lie. He said immediately they started pointing at the PFC logo and I explained I was a follower of Islam who was specifically helping Muslims in Yemen. “There was much shouting and gesturing and then, as if by magic, we were bundled into the vehicle and told to drive away quickly. “Thank God they didn’t read English.”
Further proof that our legal system is an absolute sham has emerged, with a report showing that four prisoners have fled from jail every day since Labour came to power. Despite Tony Blair announcing that Labour would be “tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime” when they came into power, a massive 330 prisoners have escaped, 9,254 have done a runner whilst on leave and 3,970 have ignored the conditions set on them when released. Out of those convicts, 393 walked out of Leyhill Open Prison in Gloucester since 1999 and 22 of them are murderers, seven are rapists and five have been convicted of manslaughter.
A British dentist has launched a new brace that he claims can give the wearer a facelift. In news that will probably have people rushing to the dentist, the new brace is said to tone up facial muscles, reduce wrinkles and eye bags, create more prominent cheekbones, smoother skin and better hair and lips. The £2,500 device is called the Oralift and its inventor, Dr Nick Mohindra, chose not to exaggerate its effects. He said: “It can turn an ugly duckling into a swan. People spend a fortune on cosmetic surgery, which doesn’t always have the desired result.”
A penny pinching council who fired their £8,000-a-year tea lady has hired a £200-a-day consultant to tell their staff how to make a brew. 46-year-old Jill Melvin was sacked by the Tory-run East Herts council in March, but they have since been experiencing a bout of staff injuries. Since the trolley service has ended incompetent staff, not used to having to move out of their chairs to get their own hot beverage, have had to negotiate stairs and fire doors whilst carrying their tea from the new self-service machine. Amongst the many accidents is a person who scalded their hand and another employee who broke their wrist. A council spokesman defended the choice to spend that much money on a tea making expert. Using a £50 note to mop up some spilt milk he said: “We think very carefully about where we spend our budget and our sensible approach has been praised by our auditors as the best in Hertfordshire.”
Nottingham has been named as the most crime-ridden area in England and Wales. Nicknamed “Assassination City” for its high level of gun crime, Nottingham came out top of the league having 5.21 murders per every 100,000 people. It has four times the amount of crime as towns such as Southend (Essex) and Poole (Dorset) that were at the bottom of the table. The study was conducted by Reform, an independent think-tank, who took the latest figures for crimes such as murder, rape, burglary, robbery, car and gun crime and worked out the crime level per 1,000 residents. Nottingham has 115.54 crimes per 1,000 people. Surprisingly London was only in the middle of the table between Blackpool and Exeter.
Chubby piranha fish at Birmingham’s Sea Life Centre have been put on a diet after gaining too much weight. The fat fish are now on half portions after piling on the pounds in the last month. Lynsey Thompson, from the aquarium, said: “Each mealtime has turned into a frantic feeding frenzy as they fight for meaty chunks of trout, prawns and mussels.” The lazy fish are being closely monitored to see if they slim down to a healthier size in the next few weeks.
Belfast City Airport has been renamed after the late footballing legend George Best. On the day that would have been his 60th birthday the airport became the George Best Belfast City Airport. More than 200 people gathered for the ceremony and included friends, family and fans of the star. George’s sister Barbara McNarra spoke on behalf of the family. She said: “This is a very special day for us. We are delighted that the airport, situated close to the family home in East Belfast, will now act as a permanent memorial to honour George.” She gave special thanks to the airport’s Spanish owners who had allowed the name change to happen. Belfast Lord Mayor Wallace Browne said: “The renaming of the airport after the one and only George Best is a significant beginning towards ensuring that the spirit of the ‘Belfast boy’ lives on for a long time in his home city.”
Foreign Affairs Minister Dermot Ahern is travelling to America to try and get 50,000 visa-less Irish folk to be allowed to stay there. The short 48-hour trip will see Ahern meeting with senior officials who are drawing up new legislation on immigration reform. “I left it to the last minute to see what the lie of the land was,” he said. “I just want to go there to give an Irish perspective to the situation because for a long time a lot of Americans didn’t even realise there was an Irish aspect to this issue.” Despite the fact that most Yanks claim to be Irish themselves, not all of them are happy about foreigners being able to stay in the country. The proposed Bill could enable 12 million illegal immigrants to stay in the US permanently.
Sheamus O’Shaunessy, aka The Irish Curse, has landed a film role in the movie 3Crosses. The six foot tall Irish Champion Heavyweight Wrestler is making the move from the ring to the big screen after being talent scouted by the Figgis brothers. He’ll be starring alongside Samantha Mumba, Gail Porter, Caprice and former Boyzone member Keith Duffy in what is tipped to be one of the most violent and bloody Irish movies ever. He said: “I do this because I love it and I am very passionate about it, landing a film role or getting my picture in the paper is a bonus but my one goal is to go all the way to the WWE and represent Ireland all around the world.”
Irish heart throbs Westlife have announced that they are not worried about the success of Take That’s comeback. Despite the fact that the middle-aged dancers in newly reformed Take That have just secured a new record deal and are enjoying a sell-out tour, Westlife have said that they are glad to have some proper rivals in the battle to be the best boyband. During a Wembley Arena concert band member Nicky Byrne said: “Bring it on. It’s about time there was some decent competition.”
Everybody’s favourite Bond Sean Connery allegedly took LSD to help deal with his fame. According to his ex-wife, Diane Cilento, the acid-dropping actor was apparently prescribed the drug by a psychiatrist after feeling stressed after appearing in Goldfinger in 1964. At the time LSD was not yet declared illegal. In an effort to flog copies of her new book My Nine Lives, Cilento claims that he felt insecure about whether or not his career would last. She said: “He was convinced he would never feel safe until he had £1million in the bank.”
English kids could be treated to a brand new tourist attraction, with child-friendly entertainer Michael Jackson reportedly planning to recreate his Neverland mansion in the UK. The freaky singer is currently in London ‘on business’ and has been allegedly looking at sites around the capital for a new pad, complete with fairground rides and other essential trimmings. The screeching horror dresser , who has been living in Bahrain since being acquitted of child abuse last year, said: “I’m here in London on business for a couple of days. I love it here. “I’m looking for a place to live. I’ve always liked the UK and I just love the fans here.” If he can’t find a place near London though, the Scots or Irish could be Jacko’s lucky host. He’s also planning to look at land in the Celtic communities.
Uma Thurman and Lizzie Jagger have both done it and now Clive Owen’s doing it too. No he’s not shagging some lanky haired artist, he’s the new face of Lancôme. The 41-year old British actor, known for his hard-man roles and tight-jawed scowling, is tipped to front the new Homme skincare range. He’ll pocket at least a couple of million pounds just for prancing around with plankton-infused anti-aging cream all over his face. “He’s very manly-looking. He’ll be huge for the heterosexual market,” said an insider at Lancôme.
Bitter Brian McFadden has shocked the world by saying that his ex-wife Kerry Katona is a bad mother. Known for stating the obvious, McFadden said: “She’s an unfit mother. She lays down crazy demands about when I can visit, designed to make it impossible for me to see them.” The Irish warbler is fighting with chav Katona over custody of their children. He said that she has a new best friend every month and changes her men just as often. With a smug look on his face he said: “If we can’t sort this out and I have to do it in court it will be a miracle if a judge doesn’t give the girls to me.”
X-Men baldy Patrick Stewart has said that he feels snubbed by Harry Potter bosses because he has not been asked to star in any of the movies. Veteran actor Stewart, most well-know for playing Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation, thinks that he would have fitted in well at Hogwarts. Speaking in Cannes he moaned: “Every single actor over 60 in England is in the Harry Potter movies. I’m smarting from these rejections. “Ian McKellen also starred in Lord Of The Rings and apparently there was no part in it for me.”
Big Brother is back on with 14 new morons all vying for Z-grade fame. It’s a predictable collection of desperate wannabes, from the singer with Tourette’s and the slapper who claims to have the UK’s biggest breast implants to the former public school boy who hates immigrants and foxes and wants to win so he can afford a second butler. In a bid to keep the slack-jawed watching, Channel 4 have hidden a golden ticket inside a Kit Kat wrapper with the winner becoming lucky contestant number 15. Looks like a bulimic chocoholic will be entering the house any day now then.
Randy Calum Best, George Best’s son, has been copping off with a transvestite without knowing it. The 25-year-old lusty ladies man was getting it on with 19-year-old “Gemma” at a party but didn’t realise she actually had an Adam’s apple. His cheeky agent, Dave Reed, called him to break the good news over the phone. When he heard he screamed: “NO!” Reed said: “He can’t believe it. He’s not laughing.” “Gemma”, real name Anthony Gee, has had a boob job but still has his cock intact. The pair had been sending saucy texts to each other for a while and Calum had apparently asked for full sex. “Gemma” insists he was going to come clean.
The word is that Kate Moss has bagged herself a new man. The powder-loving stick insect has been seen out and about in North London with TV presenter Russell Brand. A so-called friend told The Sun that “Kate finds Russell hilarious and he has the sort of rock star looks she’s attracted to.” Unlike former squeeze Pete Doherty, Russell has actually used a toothbrush recently, owns deodorant and doesn’t spend his days passed out on the street. But fear not, he is a former junkie and is also battling sex and booze addictions so Kate hasn’t totally cleaned up her act.
Despite being 42-years-old, Todd Carty has said that he may return as Tucker in a movie version of Grange Hill. Todd, best known as Eastenders AIDS victim Mark Fowler, played leather jacket wearing Peter “Tucker” Jenkins for four years in the school series before appearing in his own spin-off Tucker’s Luck. He told Teletext: “I’ve been approached to star in Grange Hill: The Movie. It’s in the early stages at the moment and I haven’t seen a script but I’d be well up for it. “The character gave me my big break in acting so I think I owe it to him. I can’t wait to get the leather jacket on again.”
Socialite-come-Mensa candidate Paris Hilton has been playing a game of “who’s the biggest diva” with sexpot Lindsay Lohan in Cannes. A proper bitch-fight has started between the two following Paris’s accusation that Lindsay is after her ex-shag partners. Now that the two airheads will be in France, as Lindsay arrives for the premiere of X-Men: The Last Stand, the contest has really begun. Newly ginger Lohan has booked out a suite in the Majestic, so bleached bimbo Paris blagged the use of a friend’s mega yacht. Paris is winning in the diva stakes at the moment as a frantic girl clutching her stomach and crossing her legs said: “Her bodyguards cleared the Baoli club loos on Saturday for 15 minutes so she could go in private.”
Britney Spears is storming ahead in the competition to become mother of the year. Since giving birth to Sean Preston a mere eight months ago, she has driven with him on her lap, installed his baby car seat in the wrong direction and let him fall out of his high chair. And now, unable to master the simple task of walking, the pregnant again trailer trash princess stumbled outside a hotel in New York. Carrying her son in one arm and a drink in the other, her bodyguard caught the freefalling baby before he became one with the pavement. Brit managed to hold onto her drink though. Well she was thirsty.
Lisping chef Jamie Oliver has bitched out a BBC journalist to an amused group of media studies students. The angry mockney was furious after a radio interview but showed true professionalism when he told the group of students that he had just been questioned by “some stupid cynical bitch from Five Live”. He made his comments off air but one of the quick thinking students managed to catch it on tape and flog it to the press later. He furiously ranted: “Stupid cow. I don’t know. When you’re up there, people want to give you a slap now and again.” Jumped-up Jamie was in Newquay opening his new Fifteen restaurant where a group of thick-headed youngsters will train as chefs. He felt that the interviewer had questioned his commitment to helping the area.
It’s not just the Queen who has multiple birthdays - Naomi Campbell is pulling out all the stops for her 36th birthday this week with three days of partying in Dubai. The talented multi tasker – she can pout and throw punches simultaneously - has booked out the whole of the luxury Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai for her birthday bender. Eva Herzigova, Linda Evangelista and the Beckhams are expected to attend but her former personal assistants somehow missed out on invites. Her new boyfriend Badr Jafar is hosting the event and will pick up the tab for the entire week. How convenient.
Uma Thurman and Lizzie Jagger have both done it and now Clive Owen’s doing it too. No he’s not shagging some lanky haired artist, he’s the new face of Lancôme. The 41-year old British actor, known for his hard-man roles and tight-jawed scowling, is tipped to front the new Homme skincare range. He’ll pocket at least a couple of million pounds just for prancing around with plankton-infused anti-aging cream all over his face. “He’s very manly-looking. He’ll be huge for the heterosexual market,” said an insider at Lancôme.
Prepare for a ridiculously over-the-top wedding as Nicole Richie is set to get married. Following weeks of speculation that the Paris Hilton clone had broken up with her long-term boyfriend Adam Goldstein, the stick insect’s father, Lionel Richie, let the secret out. Whilst attending the Prince’s Trust’s 30th anniversary concert in London, Lionel told reporters that his daughter and DJ AM will be tying the not. He said: “I told her: ‘Honey, you do what you want and just send me the bill’.” It’s good to know that she’ll have to endure the embarrassment of having her dad singing on her big day. Lionel revealed: “Of course I’m going to be there for her, and I’ll be singing – there’s no way I couldn’t. I’m really happy that it’s working out for her.”
Britney Spears is storming ahead in the competition to become mother of the year. Since giving birth to Sean Preston a mere eight months ago, she has driven with him on her lap, installed his baby car seat in the wrong direction and let him fall out of his high chair. And now, unable to master the simple task of walking, the pregnant again trailer trash princess stumbled outside a hotel in New York. Carrying her son in one arm and a drink in the other, her bodyguard caught the freefalling baby before he became one with the pavement. Brit managed to hold onto her drink though. Well she was thirsty.
Sensing the lack of media attention, reality flop star Kate Lawler has said that she would love to eat some bugs. Following a string of mediocre exercise videos and an online blog for The Sun, BB3 winner Kate is trying desperately to be asked to go on I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here next year. Choosing subtlety as her weapon of choice she said: “I hate creepy crawlies and don’t think I could eat bugs. However I love a challenge and would probably say yes if I got asked.”
Poppy Honey Oliver and little Apple Paltrow Martin now have a rival vying for the title of silliest name – enter Bluebell Madonna Halliwell. Geri “Minger Spice” Halliwell explained why she has chosen such a horrendous name for her daughter. She said: “As I walked round the park in the last few weeks of pregnancy, I seemed to see bluebells everywhere. “There’s a good reason I picked Madonna as a middle name too. As she came out of my tummy, Bluebell had both arms flung wide in the air as if announcing to the world: ‘Hi! I’m here!’ “She was screaming her head off, as though she was shouting: ‘Hello, Wembley!’ No one else has that name, apart from the Virgin Madonna and the singer, whom I love.” Taking her new maternal role seriously, Geri described being a mother as “like having my own little doll.”
Knackered bassist Andy Nicholson of the Arctic Monkeys has decided that he can’t be bothered to follow his band stateside. The worn-out string slapping musician was left exhausted after the group’s recent tour of Europe. Nicholson will temporarily leave the group, so that he can spend some much needed time vegging in front of the telly watching the likes of Des and Mel, while his bandmates try to break the US market. He will be rejoining the band once they have done the hard work in America. The band released a statement saying: “Owing to fatigue following an intensive period of touring, Andy Nicholson shall be taking a rest and will not be accompanying Arctic Monkeys on their forthcoming tour of North America. “Nick O’Malley shall be standing in for Andy on the tour which begins in Vancouver on 27 May. We all wish Andy a speedy recovery.”
Blobby Williams has decided to follow in the footsteps of Bono by visiting a South African village. The 32-year-old singer was introduced to kids who have been orphaned and lost everything because of AIDS. This comes before his upcoming Soccer Aid event, which will raise money for UNICEF. He admitted that he was nervous about meeting the poverty stricken kids saying: “My socialising skills aren’t the greatest with people that I don’t know, especially when English isn’t their native tongue, and I knew that there was a lot expected of me.” Showing a true sense of understanding for their situation he said of the kids activities: “When they’re not doing homework they’re kicking a ball or they’re sliding down their slope. In a way, it’s the same as me with the internet.”
Flukey Kaiser Chiefs frontman Ricky Wilson admits he’s lucky to be alive after being mown down by a nutty hit and run driver in Leeds. According to a statement on the band’s website: “Ricky was hit by a car whilst walking across a pedestrian crossing in Leeds town centre last week.” “He’s the luckiest man alive, because he is still alive, it sounds daft, but a ‘Ricky trademark jump’ has probably saved his life. The jump meant he was flipped over the top of the car, hitting the windscreen, rather than getting trapped under it. He was crossing on a green pedestrian light.” Thankfully, the band’s forthcoming live dates will be unaffected.
Incredibly rebellious rocker Avril Lavigne, who really sticks it to the system by dressing in whatever grungy gear her record company tells her to, is planning to combine both singing and acting. The corporate punk has three movies in the pipeline, but says she is not about to quit singing songs about how life is like, so shit, to take up films full time. “I want to start off small and warm up. I wouldn’t want to just throw myself into a big part,” she said, sticking her fingers in the air whilst reading off an autocue. Lavigne is starring in Over The Hedge with Bruce Willis, Fast Food Nation with Patricia Arquette and The Flock with Richard Gere.
Screechy-voiced singer Axl Rose and aging fashion king Tommy Hilfiger got into a fist fight at a showbiz party. Stunned stars didn’t know what to do when Hilfiger got into a strop when Axl moved his girlfriend’s drink so that it wouldn’t spill when he sat down. A wimpy witness who didn’t want to get involved said: “Tommy would not back down. He was out to take him down. “Kid Rock got trampled by people running over. It was unbelievable.” Eventually Hilfiger’s own guards decided enough was enough and pulled him out of the club. Showing a mature attitude to the incident, Axl got up on stage to dedicate a song to Hilfiger, he said: “It’s called You’re Crazy.”
In a move that comes about 15 years too late, the Catholic League has declared that Madonna has no respect for the Christian religion. Despite the fact that Madonna’s 1989 Like a Prayer video featured burning crosses and a love affair with Jesus, the Catholic group are surprised that she’s pulled another crucifixion stunt in her latest tour. The controversial grandma, whose recent tour features her singing from a mirrored cross whilst wearing a crown of thorns, was declared a “boring bigot” by Catholic League president Bill Donohue.
Natasha Bedingfield has been spotted out on a date with warbler Nick Lachey. Nick and Nat tortured music fans at separate concerts in Boston before hooking up in a bar. “They were sitting next to each other very closely. They were laughing and looking into each other’s eyes in a rather romantic way. There was no public making out but they were definitely there on a date,” said a fellow bar patron who clearly stalked the talentless pair all night. Jess Simpson’s ex has been shagging everything in a skirt since being dumped last year, so he’ll be keen to get into Nat’s self-confessed virginal knickers.
Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy has made chart history again. Not content with being the first single to go to the top of the charts on downloads alone, the single is now the most successful song in 12 years after managing to stay at the top of the UK charts for eight weeks. Beating fatty Tony Christie’s pathetic seven weeks last year with (Is This The Way To) Amarillo, the US hip hop duo only have to last another seven weeks to beat Scottish saddos Wet Wet Wet who tortured the nation with Love Is All Around for 15 weeks in 1994. Easy.
Another year’s freak-show has come to an end with Finnish latex-masked rockers Lordi taking home the coveted Eurovision title. Their inspiring performance of Hard Rock Hallelujah left runners up Russia crying dejectedly into bottles of cheap vodka. After 40 years of trying, the Nordic country has finally come first in something other than male suicide rates. The easy-going Finns had at first been worried that the bizarre band would damage their precious reputation. Monster-masked rock band? Totally normal for a place where one in three men tops himself during the ten-month long winter.
Lynyrd Skynyrd frontman Johnny Van Sant, 46, is currently recovering in hospital after emergency surgery which surprisingly had absolutely nothing to do with falling out of a palm tree. Van Sant was rushed to hospital to have his inflamed appendix taken out and will take at least a week to get better. The band, most famous for seventies hits such as Sweet Home Alabama and, er, all those other ones, have been dogged by tragedy with Van Sant the only surviving founding member after the other three were killed in a plane crash in 1977.
In a desperate attempt to get attention for Razorlight’s upcoming album, deluded moron Johnny Borrell has announced that his band are better than the Arctic Monkeys. The idiotic singer’s also been laying into the Kooks. “They sound like they’re rolling over, sticking their arse in the air and begging Radio 1 to f*ck them,” he said jealously. Mr Borrell, who’s still fantasizing about gay sex with the Brighton band, almost came in his pants when the Kooks’ lead singer Luke Pritchard dedicated recent single Naïve to him at the final show of their sold-out UK tour.
Noel Gallagher has finally realised that he’s past it. Sheffield scamps the Arctic Monkeys humiliated the mono-browed pensioner when they drank him under the table last week. The indie kids invited Noel and his missus to join them for drinks after their sold-out show at London’s Brixton Academy. Noel was a drunken mess after half a shandy and had to be carried home by his girlfriend so he could be tucked into bed with his favourite flannel pyjamas and a mug of Horlicks.
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My day flew by and before I knew it, it was time to leave. Kim & I went back to our apartment, hung out for a while and PK came up to wait for Amr to collect us to take us to the car rental. When you are giving someone directions here in Doha people usually use roundabouts as landmarks. Doha seems to be the roundabout capital of the world…I have never seen so many in my life. All the roundabouts have names, such as, sports roundabout, TV roundabout, KFC roundabout…it’s a bit strange. For some reason there are hardly any traffic lights. Amr dropped us off and I was prepared for the drama that was ahead of us. It seems that nothing is easily done here. The ‘No Problem’ guy was there, so that was good, at least I wasn’t speaking to a new person.
When I went to look at the car I saw it was white. I asked what happened to the grey car I had been promised the night before and he told me that he had parked it and someone had driven into it (LIE). He told me that this one had electric windows and central locking but had a small bit of dirt behind the sea (LIE). I laughed at him and went out to the car…it was filthy and reeked of cigarettes.
I am really loving my job at the moment. I am working in a small office with two really nice people called Amr (from Egypt) and Federica (from Italy). They keep me sane and make me laugh most of the day.
Sorry, I had to get that off my chest…now I feel so much better.
I was a little perturbed last night when I got in from work. One reason was that all day I was freezing at work…to the point I had a bit of a chill. The AC controller in my office also controls the entire floor so I have to be careful not to adjust it too much. I got home, took a blanket out the cupboard, turned off all the AC and lay on the couch and sulked watching TV (maybe I am just missing Melbourne…it seemed to be my favourite activity there cuddling up on the settee with Marion’s red fleecy blanket). Meanwhile it’s bloody 40 degrees outside! I must be mad!
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