Mum, I cannot believe that I am going to publicly admit to this, but I went to bingo tonight and it was totally fantastic!
No, I am not loosing the plot! An old friend from the ships, David Summerville was in town and we arranged to meet up at the Elwood Lounge for a few beers and yes a game of bingo.
We chatted for a while then Lou arrived and we bought our bingo tickets. $5 got us three cards.
It wasn’t any old bingo though, it was Bogan Bingo! YAY! Bogans, would be the equivalent of a Chav back home, basically a scally working class male.
The two guy’s who ran this thing were brilliant. They were dressed in mullets, stonewashed jeans, flannel shirts with t-shirts underneath and had an array of prizes which included Porn, plonk, a fantastic green glowing spinning Jesus Christ (which I wanted) and plastic chickens. Oh and they played 80’s rock full blast all night.
They explained the rules…here are some of them…
- When they called a 2 (2 little ducks) we were to all shout “Quack”…then they played a sound clip of a duck and a gunshot being fired. 22 was done twice.
- Any number ending in a 4 everyone was to shout “Your Mum’s a Whore”
- All numbers starting with a 6 were making fun of Kiwis (I guess the Aussie’s feel the Kiwis pronounce “six” as “sex”) - so 68 was described as “a Kiwi having sex with a fat woman”.
- When 45 was called everyone sang “Living On A Prayer” by Bon Jovi,
- Any number called ending in 9 everyone was to yell “Sweet Child Of Mine” (which they played full blast) and have gave plastic guitars out to the audience for a challenge between a couple of contestants where the winner was given the chance to spin the ’Jimmy Barnes Wheel of justic’. At this point everyone chanted PORN, PORN, PORN!
Some other crackers were “Keys to the Torana, 18″; “I thought she was legal, 15″; “Unlucky for some, 13″ and ”Unlucky for Schapelle, 20.”
Our table didn’t win anything (gutted didn’t win Jesus Christ) but we did have lots of fun. I wish we had found this place months ago.
They also do Disco Bingo and Blingo (bingo with attitude). Will have to go when I return.
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