It aint over until Shrek sings!

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I was scheduled to be in work this morning at 9am but I honestly didn’t have the motivation to go into work and sit around like a lemon with nothing to do! I snoozed for another few hours and went into work at midday.

I was walking up to the VMC and bumped into PK, Luke & Beth and we decided it was a much better idea to all go to the pub than pretending to work…I know, we are very bad!

After an hour of slagging off Shrek, we all headed back to the Village. I spent a while sorting out my files, making copies and decided I should have some fun like half of the village who had already started their bender!

I called the Res Center guys and found out where they were and walked on over to the green in at the heritage precinct and played football for a while.

Jesse turned up and it wasn’t long before we were all heading up to ‘The Lounge’ (where our party was going to be held) and we started drinking and socializing.

Azhar and Sanjay didn’t turn up (not that I am really surprised) but me and Jess did stick together most of the evening…getting ourselves into lots of trouble. I am pretty sure my boss felt that there was tension between the three of us, as he stayed well away. I hear he found a nice surprise back in his room when he went back to his apartment!

It was great seeing everyone together and even catching up with those who I hadn’t seen so much of from working lates and nights. I really did enjoy working with most of the people at the village and it really is making me consider Doha more and more knowing that so many of the people are going. We will just see.

We were allowed to stay in the village and as naughty as it was I got the master key for Great Ocean Road and we (Jane, Michelle, Anne, Tristian and myself) stayed in the Queens Appartment…it was GREAT!

My head though did not feel great at 6am when we were all leaving to go home!

Booo Hooo, it’s all over!

Click HERE for more pictures.

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Stars and dykes forever, where did this come from?

Melbourne No Comments »

This morning, I was wolken up to the sound of the Grand Prix cars revving their engines. It’s actually pretty far away, but you could hear them quite clearly.

I don’t know why we were still scheduled to do DM shifts, but we were…especially since there are NO athlete’s still in the Village!

I tried to be proactive, so I went to Ed…the KOC Master (Key Operations Center) and asked him if he needed help sorting out the keys. I was glad to see it was pretty organised and straight forward, even though some countries (CANADA) did extremely annoying things like taping the keys together!

Ed has been working out of a huge storage container and after sorting the keys for 7 hours we all started loosing it a little and started randomly throwing the keys out of the container at people as they passed by…unfortunately we didn’t hit anyone, but a kind woman did pick them all up for us.

I had a quick snooze in the evening and met up with Lou, Brydie and Nic down at the RSL club (AGAIN, I know!).

Actually to tell you the truth, we had a blast! We did the trivia (came second, but oh well) and then we started playing pool, and pretty much stayed there all night…60c a game, bargain!

After that, we watched the first episode of Bad Girls Season 5…we wanted to know who died!

I loved that Britney did a special cameo on Will & Grace tonight in Canada, it was good…but not as good as Cher’s cameo!

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Too many DM’s

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I know I did the DM’s schedule, so really I am to blame, but there was four of us on the PM shift with nothing, and I mean nothing to do!

The only thing that I feel dissapointed about this whole experience is that we were not utilised properly. We could have been a big help to other departments, but no-one wanted to deal with Shrek!

We only had a few athlete’s left in the village and the four of us were getting under each others feet, so I left early and went round to Lou & Brydie’s to watch the rest of the episodes from Bad Girls that I missed the other night.

Since it’s the last day, here are some pictures of the village, so you can get a good overview of what it was like…

Entrance to Main Dining

Inside Main Dining

The Village Management Center (where I worked)

Athlete’s Residences (this is where Team NZ were staying)

A typical bedroom

Information posts all over the village

To see more pictures, click HERE.

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It’s an Illness

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Yesterday whilst eating a toasted sandwich (with obviously pretty big grain granuals in the bread…Helga, my Lawyer will be in touch) I broke my tooth and it left me in pretty much AGONY!

I had an interview this morning with a recruitment agency to set me up with temp work for when the games are over and then I went along to the dentist to get my tooth fixed.

$300 later the dentist had given me so much anesthetic my whole face was numb…seriously, even my eyes!

I met up with my friend Lou after the dentist and we headed to the Prince for a few drinks. Nic came along and we headed to a ‘RSL’ Club for dinner…DONT ASK WHY! Thursday night is apparently Paella and Trivia…were going back! I also got told off for wearing a cap!

We ended up blitzed, eating cup cakes at my flat and Lou again went into Marion’s room and turned all her teddy bears around so their backs were facing front. Poor Marion…we give her such a hard time.

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“Victoria would rather cut off her arms and hair extensions than do an Iceland advert”

Melbourne, British Balls No Comments »

Proving once and for all that CCTV does in fact have a purpose, Police in Northumbria are being investigated after reports that they are selling nude photos of people who stripped off for a photo shoot last year. Nearly 2000 naked Northerners stripped off in Newcastle in July last year for renowned Yankee artist Spencer Tunick who specialises in taking photographs of groups of people in the buff. It now turns out that the pictures of the event caught on the CCTV camera are being sold off as dirty photographs in local pubs. Deputy Chief Constable David Warcup, has confirmed that all police are about as honest as the criminals they arrest. He said: “We’ve spoken to a number of officers and police staff and as a result two (civilian) members of police staff have been suspended.” Tunick has tried to make the stars of the CCTV footage feel better by saying: “I want them, and everyone, to know that I made some wonderful work here in Newcastle/Gateshead and I’m very excited to share the results with the public.” That’s exactly what the police were thinking too.

An evil ex-prostitute murdered her elderly husband after releasing he wasn’t as loaded as she thought he was. Estonian-born Tatjana Edwards, 27, is facing life behind bars after being found guilty of killing hubbie Gwyn, 72. The pair met in romantic fashion – in a north London brothel – before pensioner Gwyn managed to snare her after making out he was a multi-millionaire. But their idyllic life went tits-up when she found out he was a bull-shitter who wasn’t rich at all and constantly broke promises. During a final row about money, Tatjana plunged a kitchen knife into Gwyn and killed him at their home in Otthershaw, Surrey. As the guilty verdict was announced at Southwark Crown Court, Edwards gasped, buried her head in her hands and collapsed, sobbing inconsolably. Serves the greedy bitch right.

A sicko who showed off photos of himself abusing a drugged-up teenage girl has been jailed for seven-and-a-half years. Basingstoke rapist Simon Phelan, 41, also bragged he used chloroform to knock out his 17-year-old victim. The amateur photographer was busted after his boss, who was sickened by the photos, grassed him up to the girl’s boyfriend, who went on to tell the police. Phelan admitted two counts of rape, sexual assault and taking and distributing indecent photos of a child before Winchester beak. Det Con Daniel Roberts said: “The effect on the victim has been pretty dramatic, inevitably. She was totally violated by someone she trusted.”

In an ironic turn of events, sleep deprived residents in a small seaside town in Scotland, are demanding that the latest device installed to scare away squawking seagulls be removed because it’s noisier than the actual birds. Fed-up Fraserburgh dwellers, who have long been plagued by flocks of the rowdy birds, were told by experts that the new device, a loudspeaker that plays a recording of a gull’s distress call, is supposed to get rid of the creatures once and for all. Now the move has backfired as the noise is keeping the locals awake all night. Shattered looking resident Jim Fraser said: “The recording is more of a nuisance than the seagulls. “You don’t hear the birds at night, but you can still hear the tape. It’s a loud, alarming noise which is not very bird-like. It’s not nice and it makes it almost impossible to get any sleep.” The device was installed by a dumb-ass developer who made the mistake of building the local shopping centre with flat roofs. He installed the latest botched device after a series of feather-brained deterrents, including robotic falcons, failed to scare the gulls.

Blair’s big brother government’s latest attempt to get all our personal details on ID cards has been defeated again, after the for once sensible House of Lords voted to make the scheme voluntary until 2011. It means that until then, we have a choice whether or not the government can have our biometric details on their system, as well as all information about where we’ve lived, other documents numbers, and probably shoe size, weight, ex-partners and other ridiculous personal details. From 2012 the government are planning to make us all have them when we apply for our passports or passport renewals, despite reports telling them that ID cards will not stop terrorists.

A freed British hostage cried his eyes out after escaping from an Iraqi hellhole following four months inside, his wife has revealed. North Londoner Norman Kember, 74, was nabbed by rebels in Baghdad last November, but he – and two Canadian peace activists - found themselves free last week after a rescue operation by Allied forces. Norman’s wife Pat said: “He was very, very pleased to be free, but he was very emotional in talking to me.”

Pot-smoking Prince Harry has again made the headlines, this time for allegedly cheating on his South African girlfriend Chelsy Davy. The pair are reportedly going on a romantic getaway to try and patch up their doomed relationship, which started after a fumble in a tent last year. The Prince was seen taking a Swedish student up to his hotel room on a recent skiing holiday, but Royal aides managed to convince his girlfriend that it was Harry’s friend who shagged the Swedish slapper. The piss-head prince rarely sees the blonde beauty and only calls her when he’s drunk in night clubs, with the obligatory “I love you” dribble that winos frequently yell to anyone within a five metre radius. Whisking Chelsy away will probably be a fumbled effort to try and explain why he hasn’t invited her to his upcoming Sandhurst passing-out parade and ball.

In a case that proves how ineffective the UK legal system is, it has been revealed that the four killers who took part in the torture, rape and kidnap of Mary-Ann Leneghan, were already on probation for other offences. The case has forced dim-witted Home Secretary Charles Clarke to examine the flaws in a system that has already led to several other high-profile killings this year, all committed by criminals who were on probation. Mary Ann and her friend were tortured by the gang for three hours before being stabbed and shot and left for dead. Mary-Ann died but her friend, who cannot be named for legal reasons, survived being shot in the head and has given evidence against them. They will be sentenced this month.

A skint English hospital is sending its correspondence to be typed up India as it can’t afford to hire experienced secretaries. The University Hospital of North Staffordshire is trying the scheme out on a one-month trial. Letters are dictated digitally, sent to a unit in India, typed up and returned electronically within 24 hours. A trust lackey said it had been difficult to recruit medical secretaries and there had been an increase in patient numbers. But he added: “Even if it were possible to recruit the right secretaries, the trust is not in a position to do so in its current financial climate.”

A pair of dopey brothers were jailed for benefit fraud after fiddling the system while working as bouncers. Max and Paddy – aka Gregory and Michael Hall – raked in thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money while claiming they were too poorly to work. Jujitsu expert Gregory, 35, also held martial arts classes and displayed skills on his own website, including doing waist-high kicks and fighting opponents. He claimed he had a knee injury and depression, while brother Michael, 42, reckoned his bad back prevented him from working.

A cocky Scotsman has turned his local council into a laughing stock by refusing to pay his £80,000 parking fines. The clueless council have admitted that they have no idea how to make the fine-dodging man cough up the cash. Happy-go-lucky driver Sandy Gillespie, has been bragging to friends in his local pub that he has had nearly 1,000 parking tickets in the last three years. The desperate council have tried to track him down numerous times, but Gillespie has so far managed to evade the fines by changing his car more than six times and making sure his house and property are all put under his girlfriend’s name. After tearing up his latest parking ticket and giving a passing traffic warden the V sign, the law-abiding Gillespie said: “My new trick is to park down a side street close to a wall so they can’t get near it with the tow truck. I have had loads of demand letters from sheriff officers. We’ve had the bailiffs round but my girlfriend, Tracy, tells them I’m not in.”

The disastrous attempt to rebuild Wembley stadium hit a new low last week when a 50-ton beam collapsed and threatened to bring the roof down. Thousands of workers dropped their tools and scarpered after the incident, which would have been worse had it not been for supporting cables. A faulty weld was blamed for the accident. Controversy has dogged the project since work began in September 2002, with the price tag doubling from £325million to £757million after a series of cock-ups. Aussie firm Multiplex were supposed to have completed the rebuilding in time for this May’s FA Cup final, but the work has been so shit that it will not be ready until later this year.

A window-washing beggar has been given an ASBO for licking CCTV cameras. Crazy lunatic Keith Farran, would demand drivers give him money for smearing a bucket of dirty water over their windscreens and if they refused, he would dance around like a mad man, gesticulating and then start attacking defenceless CCTV cameras with his tongue. Police in Stockton decided enough was enough, when they could no longer watch the amusing daily performance because the spit smears left on the cameras prevented them from having a clear view.

A Portuguese predator who tried to feed goats on London Tube trains has been banned from the underground – and told he may be thrown in the slammer. Bernard Da Coceicao used his satchel to hide his hand while trying to unzip ladies’ trousers on the Victoria and Piccadilly lines. The disgusted victims only realised what the old groper was doing when they felt a ‘light pressure’ on their groins. Middlesex Guildhall Crown Court convicted the 35-year-old pervert of indecent and sexual assaults and told him to stay away from the Tube until he is sentenced in May. Judge Simon Smith warned the Enfield resident that a jail sentence was likely.

Shy, retiring wannabe monk Colin Farrell has been getting his kit off again, this time to make Salma Hayek feel comfortable. The Mexican stunner was scared of Farrell’s VD-ravaged reputation before filming love scenes in new flick Ask the Dust, but says Colin had a novel way of putting her at ease. “I finally came out of the dressing room, all covered up and Colin’s completely naked, jumping around in the sand doing ballet dances,” said Hayek. “I started laughing and it relaxed me,” she added, before claiming that Farrell behaved like a perfect gentlemen towards her. Yes, Salma, but you didn’t see what he was doing while you were asleep…

Simon Cowell wannabe Louis Walsh has publicly declared that Westlife’s career should really have ended by now. The manager of the musically-challenged boy band has said that he is surprised that they are still managing to get into the charts. The Irish leprechaun went on to say that he didn’t see their career lasting longer than two years when they first started and has been amazed by their success. He said: “It should be all over for a boyband at this stage of their career, but Westlife are getting bigger.” He’s only saying what everyone else is thinking but has the last laugh seeing as he gets a cut of their profits.

Justice Minister Michael McDowell caused a bit of a stir after comparing a leading Fine Gael politician to a Nazi. McDowell was involved in a spat over his record on garda recruitment when Fine Gael deputy leader Richard Burton claimed Dublin got just two extra coppers last year. Dismissing that as a load of old bollocks, Big Daddy Mac went to town Burton, likening him to Nazi propaganda chief Dr Joseph Goebbels. Burton demanded an apology from McDowell and has even gone crying to the Dail, asking it to censure the minister.

Two teenage schoolfriends were killed after a car they were travelling in crashed into a ditch. The kids - Michael Brennan, 14, and Natalie Horan, 13 - were among a group of four pupils who were being driven home after school. The car they were in careered off the road and onto its side into a six-foot ditch at Ballingarry Road, Mullinahone, Co Tipperary about 25 miles from Thurles. Both victims lived near the scene of the accident.

Coke-hovering scumbag Pete Doherty excelled himself again last week by appearing to kick a female reporter in the arm in a fracas outside a London court. The washed-up Libertines singer admitted to seven counts of drug possession inside Thames Magistrates’ Court. As he stumbled out of the building Doherty appeared to boot a microphone out the hand of a BBC reporter, who was later seen clutching her elbow. The singer escaped the throng before screeching off like a total Gary in a Jaguar XJ6. He returns to court for sentencing on April 20.

Big Brother loser and media whore Jodie Marsh has told her fans that she is in love with a schoolteacher. On her website, the self-obsessed boob-flasher has named Dave Thorogood – a music teacher at Moulsham High School in Chelmsford, Essex as her latest conquest. When talking about the loser, she said: “I fancied him from the minute I saw him, but I never admitted it until two weeks ago. All our friends commented on how Dave looks like Jake Gyllenhaal I thought if I didn’t admit to fancying him someone else would nab him.” Headline-chaser Marsh said that she couldn’t understand how pupils at Dave’s school had found out that they were shagging. But then she used powers of deduction that would have put Miss Marple to shame, saying: “Maybe it was when we saw a couple of sixth formers from his school and I snogged him in front of them.”

Potty-mouthed actress Kate Winslet has impressed Sopranos chief fat bloke James Gandolfini by spurting filth like a particularly excitable Tourettes sufferer. The co-stars were asked to ad-lib some filth talk on the set of new film Romance and Cigarettes, but Gandolfini reckons he didn’t have a chance of keeping pace with the British saucemonger. “I remember being underneath Kate and she was chatting away - she kept going and going and going,” said the mafia impostor. “Every time she’d make up new stuff, the director would say ‘keep going’ - and she really went for it.”

In a bid to grab some much needed publicity since gaining only a handful of film roles in the last couple of years, Josh Hartnett has criticised slappers like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan for setting a bad example to young people. Attempting to create a bit of a media slanging match before the release of his two new films, he said: “Looking at my younger brother and sister and their friends, seeing my little sister’s friends looking, like, to Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton - I just don’t think that’s anything to strive for.” He went on to bitch about the current state of popular culture, which is ironic coming from someone who acted in the teen flop 40 Days and 40 Nights, before saying that he was sick of the way that society is obsessed with a “self-oriented, kind of luck-based mentality.” He probably wouldn’t be complaining that much if some of the luck was coming his way.

Supermarket snob Victoria Beckham has lashed out against reports that she will be the new face of frozen food store Iceland. Reports were circulating that chav mother Kerry Katona will soon be replaced by the tone-deaf singer as spokesperson for the budget food store. She was so shocked that anyone would dare mention her and Iceland in the same sentenced that she released an angry denial. Her publicist said: “Victoria would rather cut off her arms and hair extensions than do an Iceland advert. It is 100 percent untrue and I have never heard a more ridiculous rumour.”

Toy-boy lover Cameron Diaz may be trying out another career path as a bin lady. The Trousersnake’s girlfriend was seen collecting rubbish after completing outdoor scenes for her latest film The Holiday. A crew member on set, who presumably preferred to take a fag break rather than help, said: “After shooting was over, she’d always leave the set picking up any stray litter or papers that were left behind”.

Lily Savage’s unattractive alter ego Paul O’Grady has been banned from hosting this year’s Soap Awards by angry ITV bosses. The loud-mouthed scouser was set to present the awards for the third year in a row this May but has pissed off ITV big shots by moving his prime time show to Channel 4. The housewives’ favourite has branded ITV bosses as “petty” insisting that they shouldn’t have taken his move so badly. ITV are already planning to air repeats of Paul’s shows against his new ones on Channel 4 next week in a desperate attempt to reclaim some ratings. The soap awards will now be presented by grandparents’ pick Fern Britton and Philip Schofield.

Pissed-off divorcee Jennifer Anniston has taken all of her ex-hubby’s clothes to a Charity shop, in a final act to show the world she’s moved on. Whilst the world’s press were awaiting the no show Brangelina wedding in Italy, Jen was seen dumping bags of baby-loving Brad’s clothes outside a charity shop in Burbank, California. As soon as the shop assistant realised it was jilted Jen, she rushed out to see what she’d left, presumably to sell on eBay later, but another person had already dumped a bag on top of it so all the clothes were mixed up.

Has-been singer Darren Day, who’s made more of a career out of dating B-list celebs than he ever did out of singing, is finally learning that it’s a bad idea to get a tattoo of your lovers name. The serial shagger has just had his “Suzi Forever” tattoo removed after splitting with flopstar singer Suzanne Shaw of Hear’say in 2005. A customer in the tattoo parlour where dopey Darren was having the work done told The Sun: “Darren was laughing that it was the third time he’s had an ex-girlfriend’s name removed. He has learnt his lesson though, as he had a pattern put on instead of a new name.” The work apparently took over two hours. Drippy Darren has been linked to a host of soapstars including Tracy Shaw (Corrie), Anna Friel (Brookside) and Isla Fisher (Home and Away). A friend reportedly joked: “He should buy a season ticket for the tattooist. It would be a lot cheaper.”

Chavlotte Church is branching out into promotional work that fits right into her health-conscious lifestyle, and is set to appear in a Walkers advert with Gary Lineker. The alcohol-fuelled singer has turned down promotional work in the past, but has now decided that she can advertise the type of food that clearly makes up the main part of her diet. A friend of the crisp-munching Welsh girl said: “Charlotte turns down loads of ads and promotions but she loves crisps and likes the ads, so why not?” According to the Sunday Mirror, she will start filming with big-eared Lineker in a secret location later this week.

Paris Hilton’s divine mission to sleep with every man in the whole world is continuing apace – she’s apparently ditched her latest disgustingly rich Greek shipping heir. The grumble flick star looks like she has kicked Stavros Niarchos to the kerb after a series of rows, and is already looking round for anything that moves. She’s already been spotted canoodling with her ex, and on yet another trip to a Los Angeles nightclub last week, the demure hotel heiress was overheard screeching: “Are there any hot guys here? I need a hot guy.” All class, that girl.

In cast iron proof that spending 40 years stood next to a speaker is not a good thing, Roger Daltrey from The Who has admitted that he is going deaf. The 62-year-old rocker says that he no longer listens to rock music any more, as his hearing is about as functional as the cast of Dad’s Army’s loveguns. Shouting at the top of his voice, Daltrey said: “If I’m playing anything at home, it’s probably classical, mainly because I haven’t got much hearing left. “What I have got left, I want to keep.”

Demonstrating to the world that even singers get sick of their own cheesy lyrics, Sugarbabe Keisha Buchanan, has asked the male population to stop quoting her songs to her as chat-up lines. The fed-up singer has announced, that she is pissed off with men who try to cop with her and the rest of the cack-pop threesome, by using lyrics from their most well-known songs. She said: “When Freak Like Me came out there was a couple saying ‘I’ll be your freak,’ but Push the Button has been the worst. “‘I’d like to push your button’, and ‘Are you gonna push my button?’ and ‘Oooh! I wanna push your button’. That whole pushing the button thing? Fellas, please, stop it. It’s embarrassing.”

Gaunt-faced singer Richard Ashcroft has said that he feels like he’s married to choirboy Chris Martin. Clearly cashing in on Coldplay’s current worldwide over-hype, flailing singer Ashcroft has said to the vegan eating Martin: “I hope you’re comfortable because you might as well be married to me.” Bono wannabe Martin, had already been arse-kissing Ashcroft when he introduced Bitter Sweet Symphony at Live 8 as: “The best song ever written, sung by the best singer in the world.” After the unlikely pairing at Live 8 London, the happy couple are now performing nightly on stage in Canada, though not together – yet. When asked if there was a chance that the two would be singing each other’s praises on stage again, Ashcroft said: “I’ve got nothing planned. But I don’t see why not. I’m not really into We Are The World situations but (Martin’s) a hard man to say no to, so I won’t rule it out.” Being married to the ex-Verve singer may not be on Martin’s to do list, but it would probably be a damn sight more exciting than hanging out with current wife, boring teetotaler Gwyneth.

In an effort to convince the local townsfolk that Columbian people, other than drug barons, can be successful, officials in Barranquilla are erecting a huge statue of local girl Shakira in the town centre. The yodelling singer, who recently announced that her boobs were too small, is making sure that the breasts on the statue are more imposing than the ones on her chest. Made of steel, the statue will be 16 feet tall and it is meant to act as a beacon of hope to people in her town. The booty shaking, flat-chested, Shakira has said: “I want people to think that any girl can start working on her dreams and that they will come true.”

Tourettes sufferer Noel Gallagher has stepped up to defend the Arctic Monkeys, following Morrissey’s comments that their success has come too fast. Moody Mancunian Noel, has told press in Toronto that the Sheffield lads remind him of Oasis when they first started out. He said: “We used to sit and read things about us and think, ‘Are they talking about the same band? Cause we’ve sold a few records but we’ve not sold that many records, and we’re not that popular.’” The incomprehensible mumbler continued: “Just fucking get on with it. If the music didn’t stand up…but you’ve only got to listen to (their) tunes. They’re unique to themselves.” Bitter and confused musician Morrissey, mistakenly thought that the Arctic Monkeys really wanted to be lorry drivers, when he declared earlier this week: “OK they’ve sold about 700,000 albums, but it can’t be gratifying. They haven’t been driving up and down the M1 for fifteen years.”

Michael Stipe has employed the subtlety that he is world-renowned for, and led the field for a protest gig aimed at getting American troops out of Iraq. The bush-baiting baldie headlined a gig in New York that would have doubtlessly made those who support the war think: “Well, I used to agree with it and all that, but now Michael Stipe says it’s bad, I have seen the error of my foolish ways.” The REM frontman’s solo set polished off performances from the likes of Bright Eyes, Rufus Wainwright and Fischerspooner, whilst serial anti-everything protestor Susan Sarandon kept running on stage to rant things. The Bring ‘Em Home gig is merely a blatantly futile prelude to an anti-war speaking tour that is going to preach to the converted across the US in the next month or so.

Maggot from the Goldie Lookin’ Chain – the man who put the question mark after Celebrity in Celebrity? Big Brother – still can’t bring himself to see the light. The Welsh rappers were dropped by their label earlier in the month, largely because they didn’t sell many records, but Maggot reckons there was an ulterior motive. “They got sick of us smoking weed around the office and taking drinks from the fridge,” he claimed, head buried firmly in the sand. “It was petty but we don’t give a f***.”

Everyone’s favourite fad band, the Arctic Monkeys, have well and truly made it now - they have their own spoof tribute act. The chart-storming Sheffield lads have been spoofed by a tribute act calling themselves Artex Monkey. Their bestselling album now features a picture of a monkey smoking a fag on the well-known cover and has been remixed with new lyrics. It is available as downloadable MP3s on the website www.artexmonkey.co.uk. The somewhat overplayed debut single I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor has been transformed to become A Bet Tha Luks Gud On A Pushbike. The ape man behind the spoof is still unknown but on his website he says: “I’m jus laikin abart. Arctic Monkeys a mi favourite band.”

Cheesy Swedish duo Roxette have announced that they will be making a comeback. The cringe-inducing 90s band had given the world a break after singer Marie Fredriksson was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2002. We can now expect more mediocre anthems in the same vein as The Look and It Must Have Been Love now that Fredrinksson has been given the all clear. The mullet lovers, the most successful Swedish band since ABBA, are heading into the studio this summer.

Bez from the Happy Mondays – the modern day Mozart – has proved his unquestionable musical talent yet again by organising the world’s largest maracas ensemble. In a cheap publicity stunt for a new Manchester radio station, the wacky dancing drug casualty got together a measly 407 people to shake the retard’s instrument of choice. This was enough to get it into the increasingly pointless Guinness Book of Records, for which the only entry requirement is to think up something so futile that no other chancing muppet has tried to do it before. Next up, the world record for getting the most people in a bath full of custard, wearing leotards and with a piccolo up their left nostril.

He may be a good choice of CD to put on when trying to score with the girl you brought back to your flat, but James Blunt has proved that he is usless at relationships. The soppy singer’s current relationship with long-suffering girlfriend Camilla Bowler is reportedly on the rocks. She’s apparently getting sick of him jetting off around the world, whilst leaving her at home. Currently in America promoting his squawky-voiced album, the up-his-arse singer is probably unaware that his relationship is going down the shitter. A ‘friend’ of Camilla said: “She loves James, but in her heart of hearts she can’t see how they can have a future together when he’s always jetting around the world”. That sounds like an excuse, she’s probably just as sick of his wobbly singing as we are.

Mime artist Ashlee Simpson has tried to grab more much needed headlines by revealing that she once woke up in a blood splattered room. Instead of the good news we were all hoping for, it turns out that the blood did not belong to the hook-nosed singer. Never one to be a hypochondriac, she was rushed to hospital because she was tired and dehydrated and not because she had been attacked by a maniac with an axe. The world’s press were disappointed when told that the worst she had was bronchitis. It turns out that she was just in a dirty room. She said: “I didn’t go to a nice emergency room - I ended up in one with blood on the walls. Nasty.” She should try listening to her records.

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“We are all in this together”

Melbourne No Comments »

…So captured a fortnight of stunning sporting moments and the efforts of a community to turn the Melbourne 2006 dream into reality.

They were the words of Ben Lee — an out-of-towner from Sydney — whose song, had more than 80,000 spectators at the ‘G swaying their arms and singing as one.

“I started smiling, cause you were smiling. And we are all in this together,” sang Lee, echoing scenes played out on trams, in sporting arenas, along streets and in pubs over the past two weeks.

Earlier,  the Commonwealth Games closing ceremony was ‘kicked off’ by dozens of footy players.

As they charged through a race banner bearing the words “Mighty Melbourne,” rock band Grinspoon played  Hard act to follow.Was it a veiled warning that tonight’s show would fail to match the mystical splendour of the opening ceremony?

Perhaps. Instead of a wonderful Melbourne tram floating in from the rooftop, we were given a rather insignificant flying guitarist. Then came cheesy props that looked like they had been painted at the last minute by school kids.

Sure, the icons were there — the Melbourne Cup, the Skipping Girl neon sign, the Luna Park smile — but it was hard not to think you were watching a high school Rock Eisteddfod.

Then came the much-hyped Bollywood extravaganza. It was colourful, and somewhat mesmerising, but the Indian tourism ads playing shamelessly on the big screen at the same time killed the mystique.

Above all else, the night was about Melbourne — its icons, its love of arts, its devotion to footy, and, of course, its characters.

And for a city that has just put on the most sublime of sporting spectacles, it seemed only fitting that Australia’s most recognisable spectacles - those worn by Dame Edna Everage — were the symbol of the closing ceremony.

As far fetched as Barry Humphries’ alter-ego is, so too have been the sporting highlights of the Games — feats so unbelievable, they could have only been born of dreams.

Triumphs like John Steffensen’s barnstorming run in the 400 metres, Kerryn McCann’s endurance in the marathon and the Australian swimmers’ disrespect of world records.

The opening ceremony was about the dreams of a child. And in keeping with that theme, the closing ceremony reminded us that dreams never have to end, even if great sporting events do.

The Melbourne’s 2006 Commonwealth Games officially come to an end with tonight’s closing ceremony at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

Online reporter Jesse Hogan brings you the highlights of the night’s events from inside the stadium.

10:25PM

Ageing Australian rocker John Farnham brought the Commonwealth Games closing ceremony to an end tonight after an absent Dame Edna Everage stole the show.

Farnham — or ‘Farnesy’, as he is affectionately known — belted out his sporting mantra Playing To Win before predictably ending the show with You’re The Voice.

While the athletes and officials can be seen dancing on the arena — not all, but a lot — the darkness around the rest of the MCG it’s hard to see if the crowd is similarly enthused. But the cheers during the bagpipe solo part of the song suggests he is still a big hit.

As the song ends, many of the athletes turn to wave to the crowd in the stands, who gratefully applaud the performance. One athlete in front of me even does a standing backflip!

This was a night for fun, but the night is still young. One can only expect that it’s going to be a big — very big — night in Melbourne tonight.

And now to the task of removing the 8,568,933 Games-related signs and posters that have been placed around Melbourne in the past few months. I pity whoever has that job!

10:18PM

After a short fireworks display bursts out with blazes of colour coming from the top of the stands all around the MCG.

Then a young boy begins to sing: “What about the world around us? How can we fail to see?”

Those words sound familiar — and for good reason. Suddenly, popping up from under the centre stage, it’s Johnny Farnham making (yet) another musical comeback.

First it’s Age of Reason, then I Remember When I Was Young. As he sings, the athletes begin filing onto the arena to join the hundreds of volunteers and Dame Edna-lookalikes already  here.

The effect of the ‘Commonwealth Dames’ waving their illuminated gladioli to the beat of the music looks fantastic as they stand in a giant ring shape on the arena.

Most of these athletes in the centre have probably never heard of Farnham, but it doesn’t stop them from jumping around and randomly hugging other athletes. It’s party time!

10:08PM

As any patriotic Australian would know, it’s almost treason to hold a major event Down Under and not include Dame Edna Everage in some capacity. And so it went tonight.

While Michael Klim made a speech of behalf of the athletes, he was interrupted by a video of Barry Humphries’ famous alter-ego on the big screen.

It was disappointing that Dame Edna himself, I mean herself, was not here in person for the ceremony, but the jokes on the big screen still seemed to go down well.

“This is an historic event because only 10 minutes ago Melbourne finished paying off the 1956 Olympic Games, which really introduced Melbourne as one of the world’s most hospitable cities,” she told the crowd.

(I wonder how long it will take to pay off these Games?)

This was then followed by 1000 `Commonwealth Dames’ on the arena, women dressed up with Edna-esque purple wigs, garish costumes and gladioli, all singing along to her song We’ve Made The Most Of Melbourne.

“We’ve proven here today, That Melbourne loves to play, And sport is not a sin,” they sang in unison.

“It’s not as small as Adelaide, Compared to Canberra, it’s bliss, And if you’ve been to Melbourne, You can give Sydney a miss.”

Then, “As the world gets scarier, It’s a pretty decent area, Melbourne, The envy of the world.”

Classic Everage.

And now for the fireworks!!

9:59PM

After thanking Melbourne for a great Games — and having to pause when he mentioned John So’s name — Commonwealth Games Federation president Michael Fennell announced the most outstanding athlete.

The David Dixon Award, named after a former Federation administrator, went to Indian shooter Samaresh Jung, who won an incredible five gold medals in shooting events, as well as a silver and a bronze.

It was then on to Prince Edward, the vice-patron of the Federation, to end the formalities.

“In the name of the Commonwealth Games Federation, I proclaim the 18th Commonwealth Games, Melbourne 2006, closed,” he announces to rousing cheers.

It was then on to former Australian Idol winner Casey Donovan to begin a musical tribute to the 4500 athletes who competed at the Games.

Tonight they are all seated in what used to be the Ponsford Stand at the MCG. If the `G were in footy mode, they would be sitting behind the goals at the city end.

As Donovan sings Better To Love many of the athletes sway in unison. So why no lighters being held in the air?

9:46PM

And I thought the earlier part of the ceremony was overwhelmingly confusing. Ladies and gentleman, we have a new winner — Delhi!

At the close of every Games, the next host city is given a chance to perform at the closing ceremony.

Delhi officials apparently reacted with fury when told they had only 11 minutes to perform, and by the looks of this performance it’s as if they’ve crammed two hours of entertainment into this tiny slot.

It started with a short video presentation on India, before the focus shifted onto the centre stage to Indian dancer Isha Sharwani doing a “yoga-inspired dance”. The other dancers used petals to come together form a rose, from which former Miss World and now Bollywood superstar actress Aishwarya Rai emerged.

With Bhangra music in the background, a lively form of Indian folk music, hundreds of dancers in traditional Indian costumes — some dressed as elephants, camels and peacocks — jived their way around the arena.

As Bollywood pair Saif Ali Khan — the “heart throb of Indian cinema” — and actress Rani Mukherjee performed on the centre stage, a grand Roman-style chariot appeared carrying by Indian models Lara Dutta and Priyanka Chopra and sports stars such as Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar. There was also Shera, the Royal Indian tiger which is the mascot of the Games (well, a man dressed in a tiger costume, anyway).

As a stunning final farewell, the dancers stood in formation on the arena to spell out “See you. Delhi 2010″.

If that 11-minute section is anything to go by the Delhi opening ceremony is going to be extraordinary (and probably quite baffling, too).

9:35pm

It’s now the turn of the next Commonwealth Games host, India, to officially accept the Games Federation flag ahead of the 2010 event in Delhi.

“Melbourne 2006 has set high standards, and Delhi too shall deliver a fantastic Games in 2010,” Games committee chairman Suresh Kalmadi told the crowd (after having to pause due mentioning John So’s name, that is).

“Thank you Melbourne - you people were truly very friendly. Thank you volunteers - you did a magnificent job. And now, a glimpse of what awaits you in Delhi.”

Then it’s onto the much-anticipated Bollywood extravaganza. Will they keep to their 11-minute limit? Time will tell . . .

9:28PM

After welcoming all the dignitaries - including Commonwealth Games Federation president Michael Fennell and Delhi’s Chief Minister Shiela Dikshit - Melbourne 2006 chairman Ron Walker proudly tells the crowd how “3654 days ago, the staging of the 18th Commonwealth Games was just a glint in the eye of us all. Tonight we celebrate the closing of one of the world’s greatest sporting events”.

He thanked every conceivable person he could - politicians, officials, volunteers, emergency service officers, television viewers and the athletes - and could scarcely hide his delight when doing so.

“Words cannot convey how grateful I am to the staff, volunteers, athletes, Christine Nixon and her 9000 police officers, and of course you, the spectators and viewers, for making the Games such an inspiring success,” Mr Walker said.

“We are all united by the moment. Melbourne, we did it!”

9:25PM

It may be the closing ceremony of the Games, but they might as well call it the `So Show’. For non-Melburnians, this is in reference to the almost rock-star popularity of the city’s Lord Mayor, John So.

In rehearsals early ago I heard the volunteers go bonkers when he walked past, and when Games chairman Ron Walker was going through the formalities of thanking people at the ceremony, he had to pause each time he mentioned Mr So’s name because of the huge cheers from the crowd.

Nothing for Prime Minster John Howard, nothing for Premier Steve Bracks, and virtually nothing for Prince Edward. But John So? The reactions couldn’t be more different.

9:16PM

In every Games ceremony there is apparently a formal `entrance of the flags’ for each of the 71 nations which competed, and it is happening right now.

It’s really just 71 marshals standing in a circle around the arena carrying a four metre-high flag pole with the flag of each competing nation.

Listening to the MC call out each country’s name, and then seeing the spotlight on them for a second or two, it took me back to roll call during my school days.

A nice touch was the small cheers you could hear from the athletes’ section, obviously delighted to hear their nation’s given recognition on the big stage.

It then finished with a giant globe coming up from under the centre stage, but upside down so Australia was no longer down under but on the top of the world.

9:10PM

The ceremony now turns to thanking the 15,000 volunteers who devoted their time over past fortnight to make these Games run smoothly.

Australian Sarah Blasko then appears on stage singing Crowded House’s Don’t Dream It’s Over.

Bizarrely, snow-making machines have been lifted high over the arena to spit out fake snow, to create an artificial winter wonderland inside the arena.

There’s not a lot of snow coming out, but it looks very effective flattering through the air in the spotlight.

Some of the snow even flew far enough to reach me on level two. Hey, it’s not even snow at all! It’s just little shreds of white paper.

Ah well, the illusion was good while it lasted.

Next, it’s back to Paul Kelly to sing Rally Round The Drum as Melbourne’s official farewell to the Games.

There’s the ballerinas, the skipping girls, the acrobats, and they’re all dancing around gleefully.

8:58PM

We’ve gone from rock (Grinspoon), to folk (Paul Kelly), to top 40 (Ben Lee) and now it’s on to dance with The Bodyrockers, with their song I Like The Way You Move (or, as they sing it: “I like the way you moooooooooooove”).

While they sing there are hundreds of Gymnastics Victoria performers doing their thing on trampolines on the arena, with National Institute of Circus Arts performers doing amazing acrobatic feats while being hoisted into the air on rings.

Seriously _ there is so much going on it’s hard to work out where to look!

To finish the section, all of the people holding those photos came into the centre of the stage and flipped the photos over to show — when put together — a picture of Federation Square.

8:55PM

Next it’s onto Melbourne folk/rock legend Paul Kelly, who appears on the centre stage.

“I’m high on the hill, looking over the bridge to the MCG,” he fittingly sings as he breaks into Leaps and Bounds.

The song is accompanied by six Melbourne icons: the flame towers at Southbank, the Skipping Girl sign in Victoria Street, Richmond (represented by young skipping girls); Flinders Street Station (commuters hurrying about); the Melbourne Cup (glamorous women with hats, and jockeys on hobby horses); Luna Park (children feeding ping pong balls to clowns), the Arts Centre spire (Shakespearean characters); the Royal Exhibition Buildings (Victoria’s Fruit Fly Circus performing) and the Formula One Grand Prix (kids in F1 car costumes).

In the next section, 100 representatives from 100 ethnic groups in Melbourne appear carrying photos of their ancestors while singer-songwriter Ben Lee sings We’re All In This Together.

According to the guide, this section is dedicated to many different communities within Melbourne.

Judging by the number of people in the crowd clapping and singing along, it’s obviously a very strong message.

8.46PM

The drums grew louder, the pace of the beats grew faster. The crowd was hushed, then the countdown began on the scoreboard.

“Five, four, three, two, one.” A huge cheer, fireworks around the stadium, and a guitarist suspended from the roof of the Great Southern Stand.

He unleashes a huge rift — with sparks coming out the end of the guitar — as he is carried down to the stage by seemingly invisible cables, just like for the tram in the opening ceremony.

As soon as the guitarist reaches the ground, Australian rock band Grinspoon appear on the centre stage, with lead singer Phil Jamieson belting out Hard Act To Follow.

The crowd screams as a footy banner appears at the side of the arena, with scores of leading AFL footballers running onto the arena to kick the footy around. Melbourne’s Russell Robertson and Carlton’s Matthew Lappin are two that I can spot.

The band then moves on to a ballad, Better Off Alone, co-inciding with ballerinas coming onto the ground wearing tutus in AFL team colours.

According to the program guide, it’s a tribute to Melbourne’s two great loves — football and the arts.

The footballers and ballerinas provide an interesting contrast, but it still looks very impressive. And a good rock band is always handy when you want to excite a huge crowd.

8.36PM

We’ve just had the official royal welcome for Prince Edward, followed by a rendition of Australia’s national anthem, Advance Australia Fair.

Then there was an almost eerie lull over the crowd, until four small fireworks shot up over the arena.

The sound of a giant drum is played over the PA system, with the clowd clapping along in time to the music. It sounds exactly like the start of Queen’s We Will Rock You.

Veteran radio announcer Barry Bissell, the MC for the night, announces: “We have two minutes to go”.

The crowd starts to cheer. It’s almost showtime.

8:19PM

Any hint of sunset is well and truly gone now, although the darkness does make the fluorescent blue light illuminating the stage look even more impressive. It’s almost spooky.

Speaking of spooky, the crowd has been enjoying — or enduring, depending on your opinion — a pre-ceremony show with comedy duo the Scared Weird Little Guys.

I’ll admit, those guys aren’t my cup of tea but they seem to have done a pretty good job of warming up the 80,000-plus crowd with their comical musical contributions.

They also managed to co-ordinate a Mexican wave among the crowd, but one with a difference. It involved getting spectators to set off the camera flashes in unison, which looked amazing as the ‘wave’ moved around the stands.

There certainly does seem to a friendly, celebratory vibe around the stadium. It augurs well for a successful ceremony.

8:03PM

There’s just over half an hour to go and the MCG looks like it’s pretty close to full capacity, albeit helped by the thousands of freebie tickets given to volunteers to plug gaps in the crowd.

The running track in the centre of the ground has been covered by a giant tarpaulin, with a stage in the centre.

But what will happen during the ceremony? That’s still a secret, unfortunately. It’s probably a fair chance to include copius amounts of fireworks, though.

7:30PM

The athletics track has been covered at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, the athletes are arriving in their droves with video cameras aplenty and the volunteers are celebrating a fortnight of hard work.

It can only mean one thing: the Commonwealth Games are almost over.

With all events now completed, the atmosphere inside the stadium among officials, athletes and spectators alike seems to be buoyant in anticipation of tonight’s closing ceremony.

While all the details of the ceremony are still a closely guarded secret, Australians singers such as Ben Lee, Paul Kelly and Casey Donovan have all revealed they will be playing some part in the ceremony.

It will also feature an official handover of the Games to Delhi in anticipation of the 2010 event, to be followed by an Indian ceremony featuring Bollywood stars.

But with disputes between the Melbourne and Delhi organising committees over the length of time allotted for the presentation - Melbourne 2006 says strictly 11 minutes, despite the Indians’ protests - it will definitely something to keep an eye on.

The ceremony is officially due to begin just after 8.30pm, with the MCG stands more than half full with an hour to go.

 

WITH aerial ballerinas and body-rockers, sweetheart dollies and snowstorms, formula one kiddy-carts and a 1000-strong congregation of Dame Ednas, Melbourne gave the the world’s athletes a “gladi-atorial” goodbye last night.

From ducks, flying trams and footy legends walking on water, to the Commonwealth Dames making a spectacle of themselves, literally, in just 11 days. It was an unforgettable, Moonee Ponds moment.

If the opening ceremony was, in the words of the executive producer, Andrew Walsh, ethereal and oblique, the final curtain came banging down like a boisterous family party.

Plenty of fun. Plenty of thank-yous. Plenty of promises to stay in touch, possums. Plenty of good, gutsy Australian music, from artists including Paul Kelly, John Farnham, Ben Lee and the Lismore band Grinspoon. Their guitarist Pat Davern kicked the show off from the roof of the MCG before flying down to join the rest of the band on stage. Presumably, he missed the tram.

Nostalgic, affectionate and fast-moving, the ceremony was presented as an “unashamed celebration” of Melbourne and its icons, from Flinders Street Station to Makybe Diva.

Justifiably so. As the Prime Minister, John Howard - one in a procession of world leaders to drop by - put it with rare, understated elegance, a “genial magic” had settled on the city and its people during the Games.

Fine weather, of course, helped. Far from being blasted with four seasons in one day, visitors were blessed with 10 straight days of autumn, here a season of morning mists, shimmering, sunny days and mellow pink dusks and dawns.

But in this, its second, great gold rush, Melbourne, “marvellous Melbourne”, never looked more colourful, never sounded more exuberant, never felt more hospitable.

Daily, in their hundreds of thousands, its people embraced - no, created - a sporting and cultural festival but, more, a community celebration to which the world was warmly invited.

Federation Square rocked with revellers. The Yarra was transformed into the Seine of the South, a ribbon of lights, a stream of artistic consciousness. And exotic fish.

The Botanic Gardens provided a stunning backdrop for the cyclists. The MCG echoed nightly with a mighty roar that swept back and forth with the flow of competition. It was the star of the show.

How else may the success of the Melbourne Games be measured?

By medals won? Australia discovered new heroes, its team overshot its tough target of 208 medals. More importantly, perhaps, more than half the 71 countries took home at least one gong.

By bums on seats? More than 1.6million tickets were sold. Rugby sevens alone accounted for 150,000. Economists said $3 billion was pumped into the local economy, although idle taxi-drivers, shopkeepers and pub landlords disagreed.

By its smooth running? Forget the so-called Sydney Olympics factor by which some feared the Games might be judged. Melbourne demonstrated once again its panache when putting on major events. A perfect 10 for execution? Close.

Inevitably, some remained immune to Games fever. One underwhelmed man wrote to The Age: “Never before has so much been said, written, yelled and screamed about so little.”

Others complained about ticket prices, road closures, one-sided competition and, as they always do, one-eyed TV coverage. They were mere details.

It took a 13-year-old Ghanaian girl, Fatimata Bolly, brought to the Games by an international children’s charity, to articulate a more fundamental misgiving. Fatimata was thrilled by the opening ceremony, but wondered, “Forty million dollars … it’s a lot of money they have used do such action, while people out there are crying for help.” And not just overseas, but nearby, in Innisfail.

Helping others and having the occasional, extravagant party are not wholly exclusive. And, perhaps, in a small way, these genuinely friendly, generous, inclusive Games awakened, rather than sedated, a privileged society to the plight of others.

As Bondi’s Ben Lee sang, hopefully, We’re all in this Together.

Meanwhile, as the fireworks fade from the mind’s eye, the Commonwealth Games caravan moves on, the media dogs stop barking, and the athletes (well, most of them) return home, what memories will survive of Melbourne 2006?

For this dog, Australian highlights were athletic: the women’s marathon; Craig Mottram’s grace; the victory dance of the discus thrower Scott Martin, which was tutu much; the disabled competitors; and the acrobatic theatre group Legs on the Wall.

And so to New Delhi, for the 2010 Games. As last night’s extended Bollywood section confirmed, they should be spectacularly colourful; as the preceding media launch suggested, they may also be several days late.

While the Commonwealth Games will travel in rude, good health, Melbourne turns its attention to this weekend’s formula one grand prix and the new football season.

Thanks, possums. So long, Melbourne. And, as they said in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “thanks for all the fish”.

 

Sydney’s Olympic Games were famously dubbed the best Games ever, but Commonwealth Games Federation president Mike Fennell yesterday declared Melbourne had set a new Games record.

“Performances by the athletes have been amazing, the crowds have been phenomenal and the support services have been truly outstanding,” he said. “All in all, very successful.”

On the last day of competition yesterday, Mr Fennell joined Melbourne 2006 chairman Ron Walker and other Games officials to praise the efforts of volunteers and trumpet the Games’ success.

Mr Walker said the 15,000 volunteers had been the Games’ greatest asset.

“I think they’ve done Australia a huge credit. Nothing has been too much trouble for them,” he said.

Commonwealth Games Minister Justin Madden said the atmosphere surrounding the Games had been largely due to the goodwill of volunteers.

“If there’s one thing in particular people will remember from their experience of moving around the city, it will be the orange and blue uniforms and big smiles of volunteers,” Mr Madden said.

More pictures HERE

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Mum, did you get my card?

Melbourne No Comments »

H A P P Y   M O T H E R S   D A Y

I LOVE YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH x

I also love moonpig…but not as much as I love you. I hope the card didn’t make you cry.

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United By The Moment

Melbourne No Comments »

Today I was working the PM shift so I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to go to the Games Closing Ceremony.

To be honest, I had a blast in the village this evening. I wasn’t really bothered I was missing all the excitement at the “G”. There were a lot packing up, but there were also a lot of athlete’s really excited about going to the Ceremony.

I was working with Jesse (which was tons of fun) and as usual we had a lot of giggles. We were kept pretty busy with things, Jesse was leading out Cyprus and Jamaica and I was running around dealing with issues.

We managed to have some of the BBQ in the Ceremonial Plaza and watch the Ceremony live. I am a little sad it is nearly all over!

See below some pictures of from today’s fun in the village. If you want to see them all CLICK HERE.

 

Please do not laugh at me in my uniform, I already know I look silly!

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I feel violated!

Melbourne No Comments »

HA HA…not really!!

I left work this morning at about 6:30am and as I was walking out the main entrance I saw two Scottish athletes coming back into the village. I knew they were Scottish athletes as they were wearing the team kilt and were screeching “Helllooooo” at everyone passing them (they clearly were still a little tipsy).

Anyway, I said “Alright lads, had a good night?” (in my Manc accent), and they screeched back “Aye”. I then said “Are you wearing anything under those kilts then?”…the next thing I know one of the lads is lifting his kilt showing the bottom of his bum cheeks and I didn’t think he would go all the way up but he did.

Being flashed at, at 6:30am…It just felt so wrong!

I can honestly say I have done really shit with my pin collection. Loads of others have tons but I only have a few. I will say though that I have been giving lots away to sadder people than me who have even less pins. I will say though that I got the ones I really wanted…England, N Ireland, Scotland & Wales.

Here are a couple of my favourite’s - New Zealand & Scotland

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Random Pics off my Phone Camera

Melbourne No Comments »

I was out this evening with Anne and some of the others from work. I had worked last night, so I slept during the day and we all met up at the Belgium Beer Cafe for a few beers at around 6pm. I didn’t stay out with them late, I headed along to my friend Brydie’s house to watch Bad Girls Season 4 (Steph & Jo, you’ll both be happy to hear I have made a new friend who loves Bad Girls as much as me). It was a very late marathon. Glad to see Fenner is still a total bastard!

Here are some random pictures off my camera phone:

Me & Debbie Gallagher (DM from the Manchester Commonwealth Games 2002) & Adam and his girl

Anne, Me and Luke & Anne, Michael and Adam

Toby & Meri

The G during the Opening Ceremony and Flinders Street Station going back to work

Lian & Me at 5am in the SOC being total bludgers watching BBC 2

Erin and her M2006 doona & Nicole under about a million bean bags!

The bronze statue lady who walks around the village and giggles but never says a word!

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Copyright © Cath Ellis. All rights reserved 2004-2008 "On Wednesdays we wear pink!"
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